How My Life Became an Oceans Song

"You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail..."

It’s good to be back with you friends.  I have missed you dearly.  It’s been about five months since I’ve written here and so much has happened that I’ve wanted to tell you about.  My plan wasn’t to take such a long break from writing on here, but life has been well, just a little crazy.  Maybe crazy isn’t the right word.  Maybe turned upside down, flipped on my head, didn’t see it coming is the right terminology.  Is there a word for all that? 

Maybe the best way I can say it is to say that my life these past few months has become a real life Oceans song.  I had to get out of my boat, my comfy cozy boat, and go walk on the waters of the unknown to do something I felt God was asking me to do.  Something big. Something scary.  Something that required my complete trust in Him.

A few months ago I left my job of eight years to go into full-time ministry. 

It was a job I loved with people I loved dearly.  I wasn’t unhappy.  I wasn’t looking for something better or grander.  I truly loved the work I did (I was a social worker). But there was this gnawing at my heart that wouldn’t go away.  The gnawing of something that was bigger than me.

I had felt a call to ministry for some time but the call begin to deepen two years ago.   It was something I would think of but something that I pushed to the back of my mind.  More of a wouldn’t it be great if that happened one day type thing.  For many years I have wanted to write and speak, but this call was different and I could tell.

Over the past several years I have been afforded great ministry opportunities within my church and association that have allowed me to deepen that call. I really thought that I was fulfilling what God meant when He whispered to my heart that dream of full-time ministry work.

And then this past February everything changed for me. You may remember I wrote a blog post back then called If You Want to Move Mountains. That blog post was fresh off of me receiving a life changing assignment from God.   In it, I wrote this…

“I sat on that rustic wooden church pew for what seemed like forever.  Waiting.  I was waiting for God to point someone out to me that needed prayer. Perhaps someone to sit with and pray over.  But that wasn’t what happened.  As I sat on that pew, looking up at the dimly lit cross hanging from the ceiling, I felt God whisper to my own heart.    

Are you going to release this to me?  You’re not wrong.  Yes, I am asking you to step out in faith and do this.  Stop fighting me.  Stop doubting.

I walked into the room where I had carefully crafted each prayer station for the morning.  The stations were designed for women to discover areas in their lives that had become a barrier to a closer relationship with God. As I sat down, I waited for The Lord to prompt me with someone who I could help pray for in the room.  

But all I could feel was a heavy weight on my own heart.  I sat there, paralyzed in fear at the thought of truly surrendering myself to what The Lord was calling me to do. I could do nothing but repeat, are you sure Lord?  His words kept replaying in my mind. 

Are you going to release this to me?  You’re not wrong.  Yes, I am asking you to step out in faith and do this.  Stop fighting me.  Stop doubting.

My neck got hot and the tears started to pool in the corners of my eyes.  I sat there gripping my hands around the edge of the pew, practically on the edge of my seat.  I could muster only one word.  Yes.  Yes Lord, if you’re calling me to this, then I will obey.  If you’re asking me to release my dream to you, then yes, I will do that.  Yes Jesus, I will trust that you’re going to be with me on this journey.“

That dream that God called to life on that wooden church pew was for me to go into full-time ministry. 

I felt strongly I wasn’t surrendering to a calling to preach or to work in a church necessarily but I didn’t have a clue as to what kind of ministry I would even do. So I tucked that yes away in my heart and waited. 

As I wiped my tears away that morning at the prayer retreat and made my way back into the main room where everything was taking place, I offered to help our speaker with her bags as she packed up.  We made small talk for a few minutes and then she put her bags down and put her hand on my shoulder.

“Amanda, I feel like God wants me to tell you something.  He wants me to tell you that the ministry you have in your heart will be fruitful.  He wants me to tell you that you are leader and you are going to be someone who bridges the gap between the generations of women for His Kingdom.”

It was the confirmation I needed because I had to know that what I felt while sitting on that church pew wasn’t just my emotions that had gone haywire.  It was an assignment.  My God assignment.

Fast forward to this past fall.  An opportunity presented itself that I couldn’t turn down. It was ultimately my dream job.  I would be working with leaders and churches and helping grow and develop missions groups.  It was a position with the Woman’s Missionary Union of North Carolina (WMU), an organization that I dearly loved and already had a deep passion for.  It was full-time ministry work and work I felt called to. But it also meant commuting to another city and changing our whole family’s routine and schedule.

I could spend paragraphs telling you about the endless times I spent in prayer over the decision to leave my job.  I’m not sure I’ve ever prayed about something so much in fact. Because it seems that if God had ordained all of this then that should make it easy. Right?  Not so much. My co-workers were like family to me. I had this comfortable life of routine and familiarity. But ultimately my desire to be obedient to God rang louder than my desire for all of those things.

And friends the truth is, sometimes God calls you to lay down something good for something greater.

And sometimes He asks us to do something that requires an immense amount of trust in Him.  The decision to leave my job was difficult.  I asked God repeatedly for peace that I was making the right decision.  He knew that my heart longed for answers, and though He didn't always give them, He did continually give me peace about my decision.  I received confirmation after confirmation.  And yes, it was scary to leave the comfort of friends and a position I knew well to go to something that was brand new, but I knew that God wanted me to take this next step and so I followed through despite the fear.

God asks us to do really scary things sometimes.  He asks us to get out of our comfy, secure boats and follow Him. This was an invitation for me to touch my feet down on the water and walk to Jesus just like Peter did that night as the waters raged all around him. It was an invitation to do the work He had called me to. To know Him better. To serve Him better. To trust in His provision.

I’ve been at my new job with WMU for a few months now and I can’t tell you in words how much I love it.  I feel much like I’ve been freed from the chains that held me back as I hesitated to say yes to God on that church pew.  I feel alive.  I feel unhindered. My faith has been strengthened and my trust in God is so much deeper.

The surrender to the call to ministry was really the easy part. It was the follow through that was the real test.  And now that I’m on the other side of the decision…now that life is more settled and everyone is used to the things that have changed, I’m just waiting.  I’m waiting for the next time, the next moment, the next opportunity that God will give me to step out of the boat and run after Him even harder.

At some point friends, He’s going to ask us to get out of our boat.  He’s going to ask us to step out onto those scary waters and trust in Him and trust in His plan.  For you, it may not be a call into ministry work, maybe it's something entirely different. Whatever you feel like The Lord has laid on your heart to do in this season, in this moment of your life, is the boat you have to decide if you're going to get out of. 

Are you willing to get out of the boat when He asks you to?  Are you willing to let Him lead you to a place where your trust has to be without borders? 

It’s hard. It’s scary. It’s facing the unknown over and over again.

But it’s also freedom. And it’s the catalyst for a deeper relationship with Jesus.  He’s standing there with you.  His hand outstretched to yours.  His eyes locked on yours.  He’s got you.  You can let go of the fear that He doesn’t.

Let Him lead you.

Let Him take you to a deeper place with Him.

“Take my deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.”

~Oceans, Hillsong United

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An Open Invitation to Release

I sit with my head cupped in my hands on the back row of the balcony overlooking the seats below.  My eyes scan the crowd of women with their hands lifted high in praise and hope.  Some of them are desperate to know you.  Some of them are struggling to hear your voice, to feel you.  But you are there with them. 

Some women lend their arms as encouragement as they physically pour themselves over the others.  These women know you well.  They have seen your glory.  They have seen your love drip down from the cross onto them and they know the importance of this moment.  They encourage the others to embrace your love.

This is the moment for many, when they will finally know you.  When they will acknowledge that all of them needs every bit of you.  And I’m supposed to have my head bowed and my eyes closed.  Because this moment, it’s so very intimate and personal. 

And yet I watch. I cannot tear my eyes away.

I watch them unhinge their chains.  I watch them cry out in release.  I watch them accept their new identity.  They are Yours. They are made new.

The speaker continues the invitation by inviting those of us who already know you to release the things that hold us back from wanting you more.  I try to hear your voice over the piano that’s playing softly, yet the sound magnifies on the strings of my heart.  She invites us again to let go.  To release.  To give the thing over that we hold so closely.  The thing we put above you.

I know what the thing is.  You know it well too.  Women all around me are releasing their chains to you, and yet I sit frozen.  I sit chained to my seat, chained to my sin.  Chained to my past.  Chained to the things I know keep me from chasing you harder.

I do not feel you and yet I know you are there.  I cannot hear you but I feel you press in on my heart.  I think I feel you telling me to wait.  That this isn’t the place you want to meet me at.  You want me to let the thing go, but it’s not the time. And so I don’t.  I cling to it tightly because I know that soon you will ask me to do the hard thing and let you have it. 

And so for these last few moments I hold onto it.  I hide it in my heart.  I know it is coming.  I know that soon you will call me to the scary waters, and it’s not a place I want to go willingly.

Later I am at home.  It is quiet.  It is peaceful.  There are no fancy stage lights and no decorations.  Just you. 

I check on the girls one last time before grabbing my bible and meeting with you on the couch.  At first I feel silly.  I don’t know where to start and I think I have heard you wrong.  I open up my bible to the psalms because that’s where I always go if I don’t know where to go.  The scripture I read doesn’t make sense to me at first.  It is all about David’s sin and confession and the pledge for you to take it away from him. 

He has slept with Bathsheba.  He has killed Uriah.  He is in a bad desperate place.  And I wonder what I’m supposed to do with this.  This isn’t right I think.  This was nothing like the moment at the conference earlier. 

But you keep at me.  You tell me that I’m missing it.  To dig deeper. 

And so I do.  I don’t know what I’m doing or what you’re trying to tell me but I know it’s something.  Something big.

I start talking to you out loud.  I hardly ever do this.  I try to be quiet because I don’t want to wake the girls up.  But the pain of the thing I can’t seem to escape and your quiet mercy has tears pouring down my face and me lifting up your name in praise. 

I know that it’s the time.  Here is where you wanted to meet me.  In the quiet.  In the dark place.  In the honest place.  No music.  No pressure.  No one else but you and me.

And you direct me to a scripture that absolutely blows my mind.  I have read it many times before but tonight I notice something different.  Something brand new.  I feel you there.  Revealing to me that it’s time to start trusting you more.  Time to start living the life you’ve called me to live. 

Suddenly I put two and two together.  You show me through your word that I cannot keep pushing past you and going before you.  You reveal to me that I need to let go of the thing in order for you to heal me and in return help heal others. 

I understand.  My breath can hardly catch up with the tears as I confess to you that I have no idea what I’m doing.  I want this thing, this chain taken from me, so I can move forward and do the scary kingdom stuff with you. 

I speak life to the thing you are showing me and I ask if I’m right.  Is this what you’re telling me?  Is this the healing that needs to happen first?  I don’t hear verbal confirmation.  I hear the silence and the distant buzzing of the baby monitor. 

But I am confident I have heard you correctly.  That now, after the acknowledgement comes the hard work, the healing work.  And you show me that this is how you do things.  You take ordinary people and reveal the hard places in our hearts, the things that keep us from you, that hold us back from a life unhindered in you and you make them beautiful. 

This is scary.  This is exciting.  I feel relief.  I feel like you’ve let me in on a secret.  But it’s not a secret. It is your love and how you reveal yourself to us time after time.  I immerse myself in what you have revealed to me.  I ask you to confirm it.  So I am sure.  I tell you that if this is not from you to close the door.  Don’t let me think about it anymore. 

But if it is from you, if this is really the answer to what I’ve been asking you for, I ask you to not let me shake it.  I tell you not to let up on me about it.  I hear no audible voice or strong confirmation.  I only feel your presence telling me that you will hold up your end.  You will let me know.  And for the first time in a long time, I feel absolute peace.  I feel complete trust in you. 

I close my bible and go to wash my tear-stained cheeks.  I take a deep breath.  Breathing in every last ounce of you in this moment.  God you are good.  You are so very good.  I want more of these of these honest, raw moments.  The invitation is open.  It is mine.  I am ready. 

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To the One Running from God

I can’t get you off my mind.

I’ve tried for weeks to push this message out of my heart and file it under things to write on in the future.  I’ve put off writing these words for many reasons.  Fear of rejection.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear you won’t hear my heart and won’t understand where I’m coming from.  I wanted to leave this alone.  Truly I did.

But it doesn’t always work that way.  There are some words, some messages that won’t leave me alone and friend, this is one of them.  I can’t promise that these words won’t stir up something inside of you, I actually hope they do.  Maybe these words aren’t meant for you at all.  Maybe they are meant for someone you hold close to your heart.  A family member.  A beloved friend.  A co-worker.  

Friend, please hear me when I say, these words of mine come from love. Such a deep love for you.  There is no judgement.  No malice.  No ill intentions.  I need you to know that so when you move down the page of my heart on this screen, you know that my words come from me wanting you to know you are cherished.  Loved.  Worthy.  Magnificent.  So with that, I need to tell you something hard but something ever so important.

Stop running from God. 

I’m sure it feels like life is just a giant question mark sometimes.  You struggle to know who you are, where you’re going or what the next season holds for you.  Maybe you find yourself looking in the mirror at yourself and wondering when you changed.  

I know it’s an uphill battle.  Sometimes the pain is just too great and there are too many questions unanswered.  Perhaps you’ve asked some of these questions before:

If God is such a good God, then why did He let this happen?

If God really loves me, why didn’t He save me from this?

If God is real, then why is there so much suffering in the world?

If God…

If God…

If God…

Those are difficult, valid questions.  Questions I won’t pretend to know the answer to.  But I do know that God uses our trials and struggles to draw us closer to Him.  I know that if He brings us to it, He will more than bring us through it.  In this way, we learn our desperate need for Him, for a Savior.

Maybe it’s not questions that plague your mind.  Maybe it’s simply that sin feels better than repentance and change.  Satan is so good at making us a slave to our sins and the things of this world draw us in like moths to a flame.  They fulfill us, for a short time.  They feel good.  They give us what we want, what we desire.  Whatever it is- drinking, sex, partying, gossip, lying, greed.  But none of it compares to Jesus. 

 

Friend, I've been there. I've turned my heart away from Him before.  It was easier to go through the motions of life and pretend my sin didn’t exist.  To look for value and acceptance from others instead of letting Him blow my heart wide open with His truth.  It was easier to pretend that He was some distant God in the sky more than a personal Savior.  It was easier to push the pain down than to allow Him to do the work He needed to and heal me.

God is a fierce pursuer of our hearts and He doesn’t stop pursuing His children.  “For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.” Deuteronomy 4:24 (NIV).  I’m so glad He never stops pursuing us.  Aren’t you?

I need you to know this.  You are never too far gone for God to reach you.  To see you.  To work in your life.  To love you.  Never.  God’s love is never-ending, never ceasing.  You see it doesn't matter what you've done or where you've been. It matters that you return and that His arms are wide open ready to receive you.

What if, just for a brief moment, you stopped and sat still with Him.  You let your shoulders relax and your breath slow.  You focused your mind simply on Him, on His peace.  There is no agenda there, from you or from Him.  There is simply stillness.  I think in those still, quiet moments God would whisper to your heart, come home child.

I love you.

I miss you.

I cherish you.

Nothing you do will stop me from loving you.

Do you believe that?  Do you know how much He loves you?  How much you matter to Him?

You matter.  Your life matters.  And if it sounds like I’m being overly dramatic and too serious, I’m okay with that.  That’s how serious I take this.  Because I want you to know just that badly how much God wants you to stop running from Him.

It’s okay that you messed up.  It’s okay that you don’t have it all together.  Welcome to the club!  We’re all broken and in need of a Savior.  You think you’re too messed up for Him to use?  Look at the people in the Bible-Noah, Moses, David, Rahab, Mary Magdalene, and Paul just to name a few.  They messed up, but God used them in mighty ways.  Ways that brought Him glory; that fulfilled His promises and purposes.

If you need healing, who better to heal you than Jesus?

You need acceptance?  Who better to accept you than The One who was rejected by man.

You need love?  You’ll never find anyone who will love you more.  I guarantee it.

You want to know there’s something beyond the life you’re living?  That God has a plan for you?  You bet.  1,000% He does. (Jeremiah 29:11)

But you have to stop running friend.  You have to let go of the things that have held you captive and release them to God.  There is nothing too dirty, too painful or too burdensome that God can't handle or that you cannot be forgiven and redeemed from. 

What if today, you stopped running, stopped pursuing other things and gave yourself back to Him? 

You are never too far gone for God.  You can always come home.  Will you come?

Lord Jesus,

I don’t know why we run from you.  I don’t know why we think our ways are better than yours. Forgive us for turning away when what our hearts need most is You.  You give us this beautiful parable in Luke 15.  A story of the prodigal son returning home.  He thinks he will be met by his father with haste and anger, yet he is welcomed with open arms, a celebration of return.  You give us this beautiful example of your love for us in this story.  Thank you for your unending patience and grace with us.  Thank you for open arms and unending love.  You are the only thing that can truly fulfill us.  Draw us closer to you and help us to run fast to you.  Fast to your everlasting arms. 

In Your Name, Amen. 

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When You're Feeling Stuck

I feel like there’s a certain emotion that comes up around this time of year, which we don’t talk about very much.  I don’t think there’s a card at Hallmark for it, although Hallmark does seems to have a card for everything!

 

So today, recent graduate or not, I’m thinking of you. You. My precious friend who feels…

stuck.

 

You aren’t sure what you want to do with the rest of your life. You aren’t sure what your plans will be three months down the line because you’re still trying to figure out today. You’re uncertain of many things.

 

No one really talks about those of us who feel stuck sometimes. And at one point or another, we will probably all feel stuck in our lives.



 

I can’t think of a better time to seek God’s counsel and path for your life than at the time when you have no idea which path to follow.

 

 

Head over to More to Be to check the rest of this post out and if you have a recent graduate in your life, will you especially share this with them?

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Push Through the Pain

Recently I started training for my first 5K race.  If you’ve read any of my other blog posts, you know that running and me…well we’re not real fond of each other.  I want to like it I do, but it just fights against everything my body wants to naturally do.  Until recently that is.

Training for and completing this 5K race has become a personal goal of mine.  For me, it’s really been an act of obedience to God for three reasons:

1)       It’s out of my comfort zone.

2)      It’s something that I never imagined I could do (physically).

3)      I know that God is trying to reveal something to me about his power and my ability to fully trust Him.

 

God has already shown me so much in the few weeks since I started training. And I’m going to be honest; it’s not been as hard as I thought it would be initially.  My handy app lets me know when to run and for how long and I simply blast my music and do my thing.  Now for someone like me that’s a beginner, this is an accomplishment.  But yesterday, after a few weeks in-what I had been waiting on finally happened…

 

It got hard.

 

And I don’t just mean Oh I don’t feel like running today hard.  I mean like painful hard.  I didn’t even make it the first ten minutes and my shins were on fire.  My cheeks were burning from the cold air.  My feet were so heavy I thought at any point I was going to take a nose dive right there on the street.  And I wasn’t prepared for it.

My first impulse was to stop, throw my hands up and say “Lord, I’m sorry.  I tried, but this hurts too much. I quit.”

But I didn’t want to quit.  I wanted to push through the pain so that I could finish my run.  So instead, I prayed Lord, take away this pain I’m feeling.  This is beyond my physical ability now.  Just take the pain away so I can focus on my run and focus on finishing.

 

But the pain never fully went away.  What I did learn to do though, is adapt to it.  I had to make a decision then and there.  Was I going to continue and push through the pain or was I going to let it get the best of me?

 

Sometimes we’re going to have to push through the pain.   It’s going to hurt.  We may cry.  We may question why.  We may even want to forget the whole thing all together and just quit.

 

But don’t stop pushing through the pain.

Because God’s word tell us that after the pain comes joy.  What a testament to God’s power and our faithfulness to him to say “I have come through the pain and now I feel joy!”

Could God have taken my pain away that day and made my run easier?

Absolutely.

Did he?

No.

And I’m not going to try and start a guessing game as to why; because well…we don’t know why he has us go through the pain sometimes when he could take it away.   His reasons far outweigh my own understanding.  And often we aren't prepared for the pain we experience.   It comes in the form of something we aren't expecting: a death, job loss, a marriage vow broken.  When we don't expect the pain it can be even harder to push through or to understand why.

Are you trying to push through the pain of something in your life today?

 

I know it’s hard. 

 

I know it hurts. 

 

And I know that right now you want to quit. 

 

 

Keep pushing.

It is not by our strength alone that we can come through the pain.  The power of Christ alone will compel us forward to a place of true joy.  I pray that today you’ll be encouraged to keep pushing through whatever pain you're going through because joy WILL come in time...or after your run.

 

 

...Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.  Psalm 30:5 (NLT)

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Just Sit Still.

One night I found myself with a few hours all to myself.  I was so excited to have a little me time.  I picked up my book, settled in with my blanket and breathed a sigh of sweet relaxation.  I should be folding laundry.  I should be organizing the spare closet.  I should be doing something productive.  All these “should be’s” began flooding my head and I suddenly felt the need to get up and start doing something.

I want to share with you that recently; I began this journey of trying to discover my God-sized dream through Holly Gerth’s 40 day devotional book: Opening the Door to Your God-Sized Dream.  Each day I’m a little closer to discovering what my God-sized dream really is.  You know the dream-the one you have tucked deep down in your heart.  The one you pray about, the one you that maybe you haven’t even told anyone about or yet discovered yourself.

That night, as I wrote out my thoughts in my journal, the statement that followed hit me square in the face.

I have trouble sitting still.

Now, I’ve written a lot of things in my journal.  Raw things.  Things that have made me really stop and think and pray over what I wrote. Things like:

Lord, I’m scared to breathe life to my dream because I’m scared it’s not what you have planned for me.

What if I fail?  Or mess up?

I feel confused about my calling.

My fear is crippling me.

So many others are better at this. 

I’m so deeply afraid of failing.

I have trouble waiting on God.

I don’t like sitting still in my dreams or at all for that matter.

That last sentence is what I discovered in those few spare hours to myself and it got to me.  My mind was racing with things I could be doing, instead of just enjoying sitting still for a change.  I’m not taking the time to focus on what God has laid out for me in the present because I’m too busy trying to figure out how to get to the end goal, my God-sized dream.

In Opening the Door to Your God-Sized Dream, Holly writes this: “It’s often the little things that lead us to the big ones.  God’s timing is not like ours.  Sometimes we face delays and detours we never expected.  While those can be discouraging, they can also lead to gifts along the way we never would have discovered otherwise.”

I’ve been focusing too much on the big picture and not enough on the small one.   Do you do this too?

Part of it is that I’m planner by nature.  I like a timeline.  I like to make plans.  I like to know what’s going to happen.  I mean I get WAY too excited about picking out a new yearly planner.  And part of it is feeling the constant need to be doing something, working towards a goal.

Not that that last part is a bad thing.  But when it comes to having trouble sitting still in the moment with God so that He can reveal His plans to me on His timeline…that’s where I fall short, and maybe you do too.

I’m only 22 days into this journey and Holly’s words have imprinted on my heart things about myself that I didn’t know…or wanted to admit.  Having trouble being in the moment, or sitting still, was something I had brushed off because I thought well I’m just being productive; that’s a good thing. 

I didn’t realize that I’ve been missing it.  I didn’t think that piling up my to-do and have-to lists in my head were making me miss Him and the opportunities He’s put right in front of me.  Sure it would be great for God to say: Here you go, this is what my plan is for you and how to get there.  Here are the names of all the people you need to know and places you’ll need to go to make it all happen.

But we all know God does not work like that.

Part of the joy He gives us as his children is being able to discover his plan and his dream for us overtime.  If we knew it all ahead of time, it would be like getting dessert before the main course; there would be nothing to look forward to.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to miss the small joys he’s giving me as I go.

Today you might find yourself in a similar spot; unsure of the next step God wants you to take or maybe you’re like me and you have trouble just sitting still in your dreams for the moment.  Or maybe you’re waiting on God for an answer to a prayer about something in your life.

Don’t be afraid to sit still.

Because here’s the best part of learning to sit still…

God is still working in the stillness.

He’s still working in the stillness of your situation.  Your dream.  Your life. 

Sometimes sitting still for a moment or even a season with God will allow Him to reveal something to you that you may have missed otherwise. Sometimes it allows us to mature in our faith; to deepen our relationship with Christ.  To learn to depend more on Him and less on ourselves.




In my case, and perhaps yours, to let go of old dreams so that you can birth new ones-through Him.  Even as I struggle with sitting still in my dreams and in my life right now, I know that God is preparing me for His dream, His plan for my life.

It’s okay to sit still.

And, it’s okay to feel like you don’t know the next step to take.  We often don’t.  And waiting is hard.  Sitting still is hard, especially when everyone and everything else is crying out otherwise.  But oh sweet friend the reward and joy we will soon discover by just sitting still with God!  I don't know about you, but I can't wait to find out.

Do you struggle with just sitting still?

How is God working in the stillness of your life?

What’s the God-sized dream you have deep in your heart?

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A Call to Serve

Today's guest post comes from one of my dear friends Dustin.  He e-mailed me this post last week and told me these things had just been laid on his heart and he wanted to share them with me.  I could use his words in whatever way fit.  After I read his words, I knew I had to share them with you.  I've got to say, I needed this post.  After you read Dustin's guest post on the true meaning of giving thanks and servanthood, I hope you'll be changed too.   Have a blessed Thanksgiving!

It’s November and that means it’s that time of year where social media is gushing with gratitude, as people turn to Facebook and Twitter to sing praises for the blessings in their lives.  I've never participated in this cyber sensation.  It's not because I don’t have anything to be thankful for, but because I know that I would never be able to keep it going through Thanksgiving.  I have a hard enough time remembering where I put my car keys, much less remembering to post a daily shout-out.

I do however, enjoy reading what everyone else posts.  I've seen a bit of everything over the years from “I’m thankful for my God and my family,” to “I’m thankful for a good shopping cart at Walmart!”  This year,  I've been thinking about the word “thanks” and what it truly means.

When you say thanks, are you genuinely thankful for something or are you just saying thanks because that is what your mama taught you to do when someone did something nice for you?  Saying thank you is thrown around loosely and to a degree, loses meaning.  You can even hear it in people’s voices.  Ever hear someone begrudgingly say “thanks” and think that it took the Jaws of Life to get it out of their mouth?  I don’t know about everyone else, but having someone say thank you that way tends to sting more than not saying thank you at all.  To me, this proves that giving thanks can be powerful since people long to hear it.  However, it is more hurtful than helpful when not delivered appropriately.

What actually prompted me to write about giving thanks was a moment I experienced one night before going to bed.  I walked into the bedroom and my wife was asleep.  I sat down beside her, ran my fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead.  I thought to myself, “I sure am thankful for my wife…and my son…and my family and friends.  God, you’ve blessed me more than I deserve.”   Then I thought about showing thanks to God for what He’s given me.

Do I really show God how much I appreciate the life He has given me? 

When my wife makes me dinner, I’ll sometimes (sorry sweetie!) tell her how great it was.  When she brings me a hammer or some other tool, I’ll thank her for getting it for me.  I’ve told her “thanks” thousands of times.  But is saying “thanks” enough?  Showing appreciation and truly being thankful for someone is done by putting that person’s needs before your own needs.  That is often easier said than done.

"Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others.  Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves."

Philippians 2:3 (NLT)

Philippians 2:3 teaches “in humility, count others more significant than yourselves.”  I like to think about it like this:  God made us in his image.  He gave us an array of emotions to feel and experience, gratitude being one of them.

Jesus, God in the flesh, came to Earth to SERVE others, which invoked the very feelings of thankfulness and gratitude that God gave to us to begin with.  Think about what type of emotions would stir inside of you if Jesus were to bring your brother back from the dead, or to heal you of your pain and afflictions.  Honor God by living the way Jesus did, serving others.

I cannot think of a better way to show God and others how thankful you are for them than by serving.  So now, instead of saying thanks after my wife cooks dinner, I could offer to clear the table and do the dishes.  Or, after she brings me my tools, I could finish working on my project and ask her if there is anything around the house she needs fixed.  The benefit is two-fold.  Not only am I honoring my wife, I am also honoring God.

Proverbs 18:22 states, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”  Show God how thankful you are for the blessing that is your wife by loving her as Christ loved the Church.  If you aren’t married, show God how thankful you are for your family, friends, or whatever fills your life by praising Him and by honoring others with your actions.  My challenge to everyone (myself included) during this holiday season is to not demonstrate thanks by words alone.

Show someone how thankful you are by serving them, just like Jesus.

How do you show thanks to your loved ones?

What areas of service is God calling you to in your everyday life?

What scriptures do you turn to during this season of Thanksgiving?

[caption id="attachment_331" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Credit: Dustin Stultz[/caption]

Dustin is a fellow twenty-something that lives with his precious family in North Carolina.  He is  a man on fire for the Lord and has shown tremendous faith throughout life’s trials and triumphs.   

 

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The Next Street Sign

My legs were shaking.  My heart pounded out of my chest.  I was out of breath.

 

I had done it.

 

 

I had reached the street sign, feeling accomplished and surprisingly revived.   I had just finished my longest run to date.  After a workout at the gym near our office, my friend and coworker challenged me to run back to the office with her.

 

“I’ll do it, sure,” I said without hesitation.  Before this challenge I would have never committed to do something like this, but God is continually showing me how strong I can actually be.

 

Okay Lord, please help me finish this run.  I know I can do it through you Lord, but I need your help.  Just help me finish. 

 

 

Not only would God provide me with the physical strength to complete my run, but He provided me with someone who pushed me and encouraged me with each passing block.

 

 

Just make it to this bush.

 

Just make it the next sign.

 

This is where it gets hard, just push through and it’ll pass.

 

You’re doing it.

 

 

She didn’t know it, but with each encouraging word my feet hit the pavement with more motivation than the last step.  I was going to finish.

 

See, God does this for us all the time.  It may not be running, it may be other life circumstances, but He provides just what my friend provided me.

 

 

I know you’re in pain, don’t give up.

 

I know you feel defeated in your marriage, just bring it to me and push through.

 

I’ve got something better planned, just trust me.

 

I know times are tough financially, but I will provide.

 

With each of life’s unexpected and sometimes expected circumstances, God is running with us, helping us make it the street sign.

 

This week’s verse for the “Living and Active” challenge is from Matthew 6:34

 

 

We must choose to focus on today.  We must find the blessings and victories in today.  I could choose to get really down on myself at the distance I ran, knowing it is probably short to anyone else’s expectations, but it’s not about the distance.

 

 

It’s about making it to the next street sign.

 

 

I can’t worry about tomorrow and what will come.  I can only focus on what God wants me to see in today.  Each morning I pray, “Lord help me to see you in all that I do today.”   Sometimes God will reveal himself in big ways to you, and other times it comes in the small things.

 

Whatever is going on in your life today that you may not understand, or if you’re unsure about what tomorrow holds for you, for your marriage, for your finances, your health, whatever it is…

 

 

Stay with me.  Stay with God.  Run to the next street sign with me.

 

 

I’ll meet you there, precious friend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Are You In?

You may (or may not) have noticed that I've been silent for a few weeks.  It's not that I haven't wanted to share things with you.  No, it's not even that I haven't had the time to write, I have.  It's because I've been waiting and I just felt the need to wait...in silence.

There's been so many times I've wanted to hop on here and share words with you, share with you the journey the Lord is asking me to begin with Him, but each time I've sat down to share these words with you, something has stopped me.  Be it the Lord, fear, hesitation, whatever it may have been, I just couldn't get it out.  But today, that's all changing.

Over a year ago, I wrote a post called The Stop Sign and many of you so graciously identified with my struggle and the desire to change it.  After that post I was determined to make a change in my life; for my health, for my future children, my family, my own approval, etc.  Well that time came and went and no change was made in my health.  I continued to eat the things I so dearly loved, craved even.  Any fitness or exercise routine I tried to establish fell at the waste side, or I should say my waist-line.  And all the while I went through each day desiring for that miraculous change in my body to take place, but not truly wanting to put the effort in to achieve that change.

I kept waiting for my rock bottom to occur.  You know, the one thing that would make me say "enough!" and I would never look back to the person I once was.  I so desperately wanted this moment to happen because I needed something, ANYTHING to shake me up and call me to change.

The problem with waiting on my rock bottom is that my expectations for what was my "bottom" just kept getting lower.   I thought when I went up a size in clothes it would do it, but no.  When I saw the highest number I've seen for myself on the scale, nope. The list could go on and on.

Because when the bottoms came, so did the excuses for those bottoms.  

See, this excuses thing for me has been going on for while now.  If excuses and I were dating, we'd be getting close to getting engaged now.  We are very familiar to each other.  I find comfort in excuses.

There's no way I can do it.  

I hate exercising.

I have so much weight to lose.

I'll fail.  

Ouch.  That last one stings me more than all the other excuses combined.  You see that last one, for me, has been my crutch.  I've rested on that fear of failing, because we all know, if you don't try...you can't fail.

Out of the many times and I mean MANY times I've tried to lose weight and get healthy, I've left one essential piece out of the puzzle.   I've completely left out the One who created my body in the first place, God.  Recently, I have felt like the Lord was telling me to step out in faith and take this journey WITH Him this time.  I have felt the Lord pushing me to step out and trust that He wants me to go through this process of change not just for health, but to grow stronger in my relationship with Him.  So while He's been speaking to me through devotionals, Bible Study, songs, and through examples of others, I've been silent...waiting for Him to tell me now is the time to jump in WITH ME.

It is with great excitement, trust, and for me, a major step out in faith moment that I tell you about the 5 week challenge that I will begin next week, called the Living and Active Challenge.   Click on the blog button below to find out more about the Living and Active 5 Week Challenge through Peak 313 Fitness! 

Each week I'll be writing and sharing with you throughout my 5 week journey to become not only healthier in body but spirit.  I trust that the Lord is going to reveal so many things about Himself to me and the reason behind Him placing this challenge in front of me.  I'll be posting about my trials and struggles through the process, as well as the victories and blessings that it brings.

I told my Acteens girls on Wednesday night that each time they saw me I wanted them to ask me how my challenge was going.  I want them to hold me accountable not only for the fitness challenge but for my memory verses and time in the word.  This isn't something I want to be silent about anymore.  We each have things that hold us back from fulfilling God's ultimate purpose for our lives and I believe this to be one of mine.  I spend too much time searching for the approval of others, not caring for my body as He designed it, and not including God in this battle I've had since childhood.

What's holding you back from a life full of God's blessing and purpose? 

What will your challenge look like?  For you, it may not be health related, it may be something else entirely and that's okay, but will you choose to take this journey with me?  Will you create your own challenge?

If you're in this 5 week challenge with me, leave a comment and say "I'm in!"  You can also write what challenge you're choosing for the next 5 weeks and we can pray over one another throughout the journey, but you don't have to.  I may fail at this and only complete 2 weeks, or I might go all the way, I don't know.  But I've got to learn to let God show me how my fear of failure can no longer be my crutch.  Now is the time to begin a new journey with Him and where this challenge and journey will take me, we will see.

So tell me...are you in?

To sign up for the 5 week challenge through Peak 313 fitness, simply head to www.peak313.com.

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A Spiritual Root Canal

I couldn’t call and reschedule again.  I had put it off long enough.  This date had lingered on my calendar for weeks and it was haunting me. 

The dentist. 

I hope many of you silently just went “oh girl, I feel you” in your head. 

If I tell you how long it’s been since I’ve been to the dentist, will you promise not to let your mouth drop in complete horror?   4 years.   As in 48 months.  If somebody paid me to put the dentist off I’d be a millionaire twice over by now. 

This appointment was a simple cleaning which was not the part I was afraid of.  I was afraid of the results my cleaning would show.  I anxiously awaited the verdict from my dental assistant.  “Go ahead and give it to me straight,” I said.  “What are we looking at?  5 cavities?  A root canal?”  I waited with anticipation for the final verdict.   “I really don’t see anything besides one small spot on these two teeth.  Shouldn’t be but a quick fix.  It's not bad at all,” she said, reassuring me.   

Don’t ask me why I expected to get away scot-free, but I sure was hoping I would.  At the least bit I could take two tiny cavities.

As I was leaving the dentist office that day, a thought came to mind. 

 

Sin is like a cavity.

 

 

 

 

Sometimes it can start off small and then turn to something big.  We can feel that something isn’t right, but not enough for us to seek help about it.   Other times, it hits a nerve, causing us to flinch for a moment, but we go on about our day.  We let it fester over time and instead of taking care of it in the beginning, now we’re forced to get a root canal to remedy it.   

 

To put it simply, sometimes we need a spiritual root canal. 

 

The pain at this point is almost too much to take on our own, so we must be numbed or even put to sleep for the procedure to take place.  The root is so eaten up that it can become dead to us.

Sin is so much like a cavity.

 

We can deny to ourselves that we feel anything, but we can’t deny it to God. 

 

Do you need a spiritual root canal?

 

Is there something deep in your roots today that is stopping you from a closer relationship with God?

Sin is a tricky thing.  One that Satan loves to grab ahold of and control us with.  He loves to take our sins, the things we fall short on, and twist and manipulate them until we feel we are no longer worthy of God’s love. 

I imagine that if Satan were a dentist he wouldn’t numb you before drilling.  I can hear him saying don’t worry, you won’t feel anything.   He feeds off the dead roots in our lives.  The things we struggle with the most are the things he loves the most.  The problem with sin, much like a festering cavity, is that once those "dead roots" are there, you end up hardening your heart because of them.  You begin to think that not only are you not worthy of God's love but that you don't need God at all.  Those dead roots {sin} are tumultuous for our relationship with God.   

Alcohol.  Sexual desires. Gossip.  Unworthiness.  Hurt. Fear. Rejection.  Marriage problems.  Unhappiness at work.  Financial worries.

 

 

These may be some of the dead roots in your life, or you may have an entirely different list.  But friend, don’t let Satan tell you that you are not worthy of God’s love.  Whatever your dead roots are, God can restore them. 

 

“Create in me a clean heart, O God.  Renew a loyal spirit within me.”

Psalms 51:10 (NLT)

   

Who will you let be your spiritual dentist? 

What are the dead roots in your life?  

Do you need a spiritual root canal?

 

 

These are some tough questions to ask yourself but I promise you that if you answer them honestly to yourself, God has already began the restoration process in your life.  If there is a specific sin that is weighing on you, can I pray for you over it? 

Simply leave a comment and I will pray for you over whatever it is you are battling with.  If you'd like to remain anonymous, just type PRAY .  God knows exactly what it is you need prayer for.

 

I pray that each of us will go through a spiritual root canal at some point and let God restore us to the children He has called us each to be.

 

Blessings Friends.

 

 

 

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