It's Okay to Not Know Where You're Going Next

Recently I finished my journey through the book of Acts. It’s amazing to me that no matter how many times I may read something in the Bible, I always get something new out of it. If you haven’t read Acts yet, it is one action-packed book. Luke, the author of this book, compiles many stories of the early church and we also get a different perspective on the lives of Peter and Paul.

The deeper I studied the book of Acts, the more enthralled I became with the stories. Luke gives us several accounts of the disciples performing miracles through the power of the Holy Spirit (Jesus had already been resurrected) and shows various ways people became followers of Jesus. It’s all very exciting to read.

What stood out to me the most, however, was that after reading several stories revolving around a similar theme, I noticed that most of the people God gave an assignment to didn’t have a clue where they would be going next after receiving His instructions. For example, towards the end of Acts 8, we see a story unfolding involving a man named Philip, who was described as a believer and teacher of the word.

Acts 8:26-27

As for Philip, an angel of the Lord said to him, “Go south down the desert road that runs from Jerusalem to Gaza.” So he started out, and he met the treasurer of Ethiopia, a eunuch of great authority under the Kandake, the queen of Ethiopia.”

Did you catch that sequence of events? An angel of the Lord told Philip to go from Jerusalem to Gaza. Then, after he started out on his journey, he met a eunuch, an Ethiopian man. The angel only gave Philip the location he was to go to. The angel didn’t say, “Go here and you will meet an Ethiopian man and you are to do this and this.” Philip was given one detail at a time.

The Voice translation describes it this way:

A heavenly messenger brought this short message from the Lord to Philip during his time preaching in Samaria:

“Messenger of the Lord: Leave Samaria. Go south to the Jerusalem-Gaza road.”

The message was especially unusual because this road runs through the middle of uninhabited desert. But Philip got up, left the excitement of Samaria, and did as he was told to do.

He got up, left the excitement, and did as he was told to do.

I just love that.

I can imagine Philip starting his journey to Gaza wondering why in the world he was supposed to go there. But he did as he was told to do. This is where Philip and I differ. I would have probably been like “Um, angel . . .  I need further instructions. I need to know where I will stay, what food they have there, what language I need to know, and also, why are you having me go this way? Everyone knows that’s not the easiest way to go.”

But obedient Philip just did as he was told. So many times we find this in Acts. Someone is given instructions to go somewhere, most likely to preach to the people, but they are given little instruction after that . . . until they reach their destination.

Look what happens in Philip’s story, picking up at verse 27 through 31:

The eunuch had gone to Jerusalem to worship, and he was now returning. Seated in his carriage, he was reading aloud from the book of the prophet Isaiah.

The Holy Spirit said to Philip, “Go over and walk along beside the carriage.”

Philip ran over and heard the man reading from the prophet Isaiah. Philip asked, “Do you understand what you are reading?”

The man replied, “How can I, unless someone instructs me?” And he urged Philip to come up into the carriage and sit with him.

Philip was just handed an invitation to share Jesus with the Ethiopian man. As the story continues, we learn that Philip does just that–shares the gospel of Jesus with this man. The Ethiopian man becomes a believer and Philip ends up baptizing him in some water they come across while walking with the carriage.

For a man who had little clue of where he was going next, he sure was given a big assignment.

So one of the biggest things I learned in my study of Acts is this:

It's okay to not know where you're going next.

Head over to More to Be to finish reading this post!

1

When You Feel You're In a Dead Season

If you’ve ever gifted me with a beautiful plant, I need to apologize to you and probably re-gift the money you spent.  It’s most likely dead now.  I’m sorry to break the news like this. 

I unashamedly confess that I have no green thumb and I have yet to meet a plant I didn’t kill.  It’s not intentional.  I really do try. I always start off with the best of plans.  But sooner or later I forget about the essential things a plant needs: sunlight, tender care, and what’s that really important one?  Oh yeah, water.  

Every morning at my girls school, my oldest daughter Brooke, likes to literally stop and smell the roses.  She likes to see which flowers have fully bloomed overnight.  To her it seems like there are new flowers to smell every morning. She takes in all of the colors, pigments of pinks and reds.  She loves it and it’s really sweet to watch.

After one of our recent morning walks Brooke put in her request that we get some similar flower power in our front yard.  I agreed that we needed a little pop of spring color.  So the following weekend we trucked off to one of our local stores to pick out some flowers.   

I talked to Brooke about how we needed to care for the flowers and watched her eyes light up as petals of pink filled the pot in our backseat.  Okay, here is the honest to goodness truth of the matter.  I sort of, kinda, okay I straight up forgot, about that beautiful pot of pink flowers for some odd days. 

Mama, where our flowers go? They not here anymore?   I then had to break the bad news to my little girl that mama had forgotten to water the flowers and that they probably wouldn’t grow anymore.  Daddy would throw the pot away and we would need to pick out some new ones.  Ones that I wouldn’t forget to water mind you. 

Fast forward a couple weeks.  That poor potted plant stood alone by our front porch looking sad and neglected and…thirsty.  Ugh.  I keep forgetting to throw that thing away, I would think after I passed it day in and day out.  It looked awful.  Dead.  Dry.    

Or so I thought. 

It wasn’t until I walked past it the other morning that I noticed something completely different about that poor potted plant.  There were blooms growing on it. 

I couldn’t believe it.  The plant was fully functioning again, without my tender green thumb to attend to it.  It still looked a little dry, but there were plenty of bright pink blooms bursting out of it.  We had experienced a tiny spring shower the week before but I didn’t think it had been enough to bring the flowers back.  Brooke and I were both so excited.  All was not lost for our tiny plant!

As I loaded my girls up in the car for school, I realized that our plant wasn’t just a reminder that I had a serious lack of gardening skills.  It was a symbol of hope.

Today you may feel like you’re in a dead season.  Perhaps you’ve given up on some of your dreams.  Or you feel like your marriage has hit a hard place and can’t be restored.  That your Prodigal child will never return.  Maybe you thought you would be in a different place in your life by now.  Or maybe today you’re agonizing over a situation that you can’t see an end to.  You’re deep in a pit and have a hurt that won’t go away.  Let me share with you friend this powerful message today:  

God restores even the deadest of seasons. 

Sometimes we feel like we are in dead seasons.  Prayers go unanswered.  We struggle to make sense of why we are going through a difficult time or situation.  We put our dreams on hold because nothing has happened with them.  Maybe even our faith becomes stale.  We feel like that dry, dead plant. 

We are desperate for God.

We want answers from Him.  We want to know that good will come from the dark pit we are in. We hang onto the hope of better days to come.

Friend, I don’t know what you’re facing today, but I know that God can bring forth blooms from your dead season. 

God has not forgotten you.  He is not ignoring your requests.  

He sees you fully.  He has purpose for this season.

Now I don’t know much about gardening, but there is one thing I do know.  After the hard winter season, when it seems it can’t get any colder, any deader than it is, the sunshine breaks through the clouds.  Trees begin to get their leaves back.  Flowers in all hues burst out of the ground ready to greet us with the warmth and color of spring.  I know that beauty comes from dead seasons because I can see it all around.

If God takes care of our trees and flowers and fields by the cycle of the seasons, my beloved, what makes you think He doesn’t care for you and the tough season you’re faced with?

You will not be in this dead season forever.  God is a God of restoration and of life!  The question is, will you use this season to draw closer to Him?  Will you choose to trust in His faithfulness?   Will you use this season to point others towards the glory of God? 

I discounted our plant.  I was ready to toss it aside because it didn’t look like it was producing anything.  Sometimes the hardest of seasons look like they’re not producing anything.  But don’t discount how God is working.  Because He is sweet friend, Oh how He is. 

I’m happy to report that our plant is still going strong.  Each day I find more bright pink blooms await us when we pass by it every morning.  I wish I could say with confidence that those precious flowers will last, but I just know myself too well.  It’s only a matter of time.  Sorry flowers. 

1

Maybe there are Seasons for Balance

I’m sure that somewhere out there is a well-proven scientific theory that can discredit all that I’m about to tell you.  But since I’m not a scientist, just a Jesus-loving girl with a message on her heart, I thought I would share this thought with you and let you sit on it awhile.

Maybe there are seasons for balance.

A few weeks ago I ran into the grocery store for a few things.  It was one of those quick runs where you secretly hope you don’t run into anyone you know because you’re in a hurry and you’re not looking, well your best.  You know you’ve been there.

I whizzed my shopping cart through the aisles, checking each item off my list.  That’s when I saw her.  A sweet woman I go to church with.  She was browsing the fruits and vegetables and I was high-tailing it to the spaghetti sauce.  Since we were a good distance from one another, we both just threw our hands up said hello and went on about our lists. 

A few minutes later we quite literally ran into one another on the cereal aisle.  We made small talk for a few moments and then she asked me “So Amanda, how are you doing?”  “You know, doing well,” I said with a smile.  But she could see right through me.

“No really, how are you doing?  You look tired.”  I sort of just shrugged it off and made a joke about littles ones sucking the life out of you.  “I gotta tell you, I don’t know how you do it all,” she said. “Always running.”  I couldn’t keep up the façade any longer.  Right there in the cereal aisle, next to baby formula and Fruity Pebbles, I spilled it all to her.

“I’m actually really struggling lately.  I'm failing at balancing my family life and ministry.  I feel like when I’m not at home with my girls and then I’m failing as a mother because I’m not present.  If I’m home, then I feel like I’m not fulfilling my commitments at church or in ministry because I’m missing something.  I try to find balance between being a mommy and wife, and being present in my ministry commitments.  I'm trying to find it…I just don’t know how.”

And this sweet woman, who overtime has helped shape my own faith, spoke these precious words to me.  “You know, I don’t think there is such thing as balance.  I think we just try to do the best we can in the season we’re in.”

She went on to tell me about how she shared in the same struggle with balancing family and ministry when her son was younger.  She could remember running here and there, serving in multiple roles and still trying her best to serve her family.  It was a hard season but it was good work she was doing.  I could feel the tears start to come up when suddenly, someone else wheeled their buggy onto the aisle.

 “Well thank you for the quick pep talk,” I said.  We said goodbye and went our separate ways. 

But what I didn’t get the chance to tell her that day that I want to tell her now, is that she (you) has no idea the prayer I prayed on my knees the night before. 

Lord, I need you to give me strong examples of women who balance this mommy/ministry life.  I need guidance.  I need wise, Godly advice from a woman who has been through it and has come out on the other side.  Would you put a woman like this in my path?  I need to see someone who has been where I am and can identify with this struggle.  I need someone to see me through this.

I got an answer to my prayer in the place I least expected it.  A wise woman who knew my struggle because she had lived it and come out on the other side.   Her words just kept playing over and over in my mind.  Could it be that my whole theory on balancing it all was all off? 

The short answer?  Yes.  The long answer to that question lies in my encouragement for you today. 

I don’t know what you are having trouble balancing in your life.  I don’t know what gives your heart strings a tug or where the pangs of guilt may strike you most.  But maybe, just maybe you can let these words fall over you today. 

Maybe there is no such thing as balancing it all.  Maybe you just do the best with the season you’re in.

Perhaps there is a season for balance.

For me, the greatest tug comes between family and ministry.  I want so badly to perform well in both arenas but I’m learning that both can’t be priority at the same time.  I’ve also learned that the issue goes much deeper than just feeling guilty or bad, but rather it is evidence of a greater sin in my life.  The expectation I put on myself that I must in fact, do it all and be it all. 

Notice my words.  The expectation I put on myself.

We’re awful about doing this to ourselves aren’t we?  Especially women.  We put the expectation on ourselves to have it all together.  Serve our families.  Run a household.  Volunteer at church and our kids’ school.  Keep our houses cleaned and organized (Whew!  I fail big time at this one! ).  Just insert your responsibilities here.  The list could go on and on. 

And while these are all important things, thinking of them all together can easily overwhelm us.  Therein lies the balance.   I also don’t think God wants us to do and be it all.  If we were designed that way, it would leave little room to desire Him.   

This is an internal battle. But make no mistake. I’m well aware of who my enemy is and who my Victor is.  It’s just that for the longest time I’ve followed worldly expectations and not godly ones.  Perhaps you have too.

Even after writing this I will still struggle with trying to balance it all.  You probably will too.  But let’s not do it alone.  Let’s encourage one another, pray for each other’s hearts, and most importantly share our inner struggles with each other.  None of us have it all together and we do a disservice to one another when we pretend like we do.

Maybe it’s not family and ministry you’re trying to balance today.  What does this look like for you?  Is it work and home life?  Is it chasing dreams?  Is it a particular person or situation you’re trying to balance? 

I get it.  It’s hard.  But maybe like me, you’re putting a worldly expectation on yourself that is impossible to ever meet.  You know, I think Helen {that’s my wise-woman’s name} was right.  I think sometimes all you can do is give your best for the season you’re in. 

 Just give your best today friend.  That’s all you can do. The rest will follow.

What about you?

Do you struggle with finding balance?

What things do you feel a tug between?

If you’re a mama, how do you deal with mommy guilt?

0

Push Through the Pain

Recently I started training for my first 5K race.  If you’ve read any of my other blog posts, you know that running and me…well we’re not real fond of each other.  I want to like it I do, but it just fights against everything my body wants to naturally do.  Until recently that is.

Training for and completing this 5K race has become a personal goal of mine.  For me, it’s really been an act of obedience to God for three reasons:

1)       It’s out of my comfort zone.

2)      It’s something that I never imagined I could do (physically).

3)      I know that God is trying to reveal something to me about his power and my ability to fully trust Him.

 

God has already shown me so much in the few weeks since I started training. And I’m going to be honest; it’s not been as hard as I thought it would be initially.  My handy app lets me know when to run and for how long and I simply blast my music and do my thing.  Now for someone like me that’s a beginner, this is an accomplishment.  But yesterday, after a few weeks in-what I had been waiting on finally happened…

 

It got hard.

 

And I don’t just mean Oh I don’t feel like running today hard.  I mean like painful hard.  I didn’t even make it the first ten minutes and my shins were on fire.  My cheeks were burning from the cold air.  My feet were so heavy I thought at any point I was going to take a nose dive right there on the street.  And I wasn’t prepared for it.

My first impulse was to stop, throw my hands up and say “Lord, I’m sorry.  I tried, but this hurts too much. I quit.”

But I didn’t want to quit.  I wanted to push through the pain so that I could finish my run.  So instead, I prayed Lord, take away this pain I’m feeling.  This is beyond my physical ability now.  Just take the pain away so I can focus on my run and focus on finishing.

 

But the pain never fully went away.  What I did learn to do though, is adapt to it.  I had to make a decision then and there.  Was I going to continue and push through the pain or was I going to let it get the best of me?

 

Sometimes we’re going to have to push through the pain.   It’s going to hurt.  We may cry.  We may question why.  We may even want to forget the whole thing all together and just quit.

 

But don’t stop pushing through the pain.

Because God’s word tell us that after the pain comes joy.  What a testament to God’s power and our faithfulness to him to say “I have come through the pain and now I feel joy!”

Could God have taken my pain away that day and made my run easier?

Absolutely.

Did he?

No.

And I’m not going to try and start a guessing game as to why; because well…we don’t know why he has us go through the pain sometimes when he could take it away.   His reasons far outweigh my own understanding.  And often we aren't prepared for the pain we experience.   It comes in the form of something we aren't expecting: a death, job loss, a marriage vow broken.  When we don't expect the pain it can be even harder to push through or to understand why.

Are you trying to push through the pain of something in your life today?

 

I know it’s hard. 

 

I know it hurts. 

 

And I know that right now you want to quit. 

 

 

Keep pushing.

It is not by our strength alone that we can come through the pain.  The power of Christ alone will compel us forward to a place of true joy.  I pray that today you’ll be encouraged to keep pushing through whatever pain you're going through because joy WILL come in time...or after your run.

 

 

...Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.  Psalm 30:5 (NLT)

0

Just Sit Still.

One night I found myself with a few hours all to myself.  I was so excited to have a little me time.  I picked up my book, settled in with my blanket and breathed a sigh of sweet relaxation.  I should be folding laundry.  I should be organizing the spare closet.  I should be doing something productive.  All these “should be’s” began flooding my head and I suddenly felt the need to get up and start doing something.

I want to share with you that recently; I began this journey of trying to discover my God-sized dream through Holly Gerth’s 40 day devotional book: Opening the Door to Your God-Sized Dream.  Each day I’m a little closer to discovering what my God-sized dream really is.  You know the dream-the one you have tucked deep down in your heart.  The one you pray about, the one you that maybe you haven’t even told anyone about or yet discovered yourself.

That night, as I wrote out my thoughts in my journal, the statement that followed hit me square in the face.

I have trouble sitting still.

Now, I’ve written a lot of things in my journal.  Raw things.  Things that have made me really stop and think and pray over what I wrote. Things like:

Lord, I’m scared to breathe life to my dream because I’m scared it’s not what you have planned for me.

What if I fail?  Or mess up?

I feel confused about my calling.

My fear is crippling me.

So many others are better at this. 

I’m so deeply afraid of failing.

I have trouble waiting on God.

I don’t like sitting still in my dreams or at all for that matter.

That last sentence is what I discovered in those few spare hours to myself and it got to me.  My mind was racing with things I could be doing, instead of just enjoying sitting still for a change.  I’m not taking the time to focus on what God has laid out for me in the present because I’m too busy trying to figure out how to get to the end goal, my God-sized dream.

In Opening the Door to Your God-Sized Dream, Holly writes this: “It’s often the little things that lead us to the big ones.  God’s timing is not like ours.  Sometimes we face delays and detours we never expected.  While those can be discouraging, they can also lead to gifts along the way we never would have discovered otherwise.”

I’ve been focusing too much on the big picture and not enough on the small one.   Do you do this too?

Part of it is that I’m planner by nature.  I like a timeline.  I like to make plans.  I like to know what’s going to happen.  I mean I get WAY too excited about picking out a new yearly planner.  And part of it is feeling the constant need to be doing something, working towards a goal.

Not that that last part is a bad thing.  But when it comes to having trouble sitting still in the moment with God so that He can reveal His plans to me on His timeline…that’s where I fall short, and maybe you do too.

I’m only 22 days into this journey and Holly’s words have imprinted on my heart things about myself that I didn’t know…or wanted to admit.  Having trouble being in the moment, or sitting still, was something I had brushed off because I thought well I’m just being productive; that’s a good thing. 

I didn’t realize that I’ve been missing it.  I didn’t think that piling up my to-do and have-to lists in my head were making me miss Him and the opportunities He’s put right in front of me.  Sure it would be great for God to say: Here you go, this is what my plan is for you and how to get there.  Here are the names of all the people you need to know and places you’ll need to go to make it all happen.

But we all know God does not work like that.

Part of the joy He gives us as his children is being able to discover his plan and his dream for us overtime.  If we knew it all ahead of time, it would be like getting dessert before the main course; there would be nothing to look forward to.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to miss the small joys he’s giving me as I go.

Today you might find yourself in a similar spot; unsure of the next step God wants you to take or maybe you’re like me and you have trouble just sitting still in your dreams for the moment.  Or maybe you’re waiting on God for an answer to a prayer about something in your life.

Don’t be afraid to sit still.

Because here’s the best part of learning to sit still…

God is still working in the stillness.

He’s still working in the stillness of your situation.  Your dream.  Your life. 

Sometimes sitting still for a moment or even a season with God will allow Him to reveal something to you that you may have missed otherwise. Sometimes it allows us to mature in our faith; to deepen our relationship with Christ.  To learn to depend more on Him and less on ourselves.




In my case, and perhaps yours, to let go of old dreams so that you can birth new ones-through Him.  Even as I struggle with sitting still in my dreams and in my life right now, I know that God is preparing me for His dream, His plan for my life.

It’s okay to sit still.

And, it’s okay to feel like you don’t know the next step to take.  We often don’t.  And waiting is hard.  Sitting still is hard, especially when everyone and everything else is crying out otherwise.  But oh sweet friend the reward and joy we will soon discover by just sitting still with God!  I don't know about you, but I can't wait to find out.

Do you struggle with just sitting still?

How is God working in the stillness of your life?

What’s the God-sized dream you have deep in your heart?

0

Be in the Present

The dishes were piled up in the sink, along with the bills that needed to be paid and all I could do was sigh out loud.  My daughter continued to fight going down for her afternoon nap and I hadn't eaten lunch that day.  There was a dirty diaper out I had forgotten to throw away and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.   This was after all, what I had wanted for a long time.  This wasn't the way I had wanted it to happen, but the result was all the same.

I was smack-dab in the middle of my 5 week Living & Active Challenge when my everyday routine, my comfort, was shaken.  When I started with the first week of this challenge I shared with you in a video that Satan comes after those that are obedient to God and His plan, and friends I was no exception.

I had been laid off work due to the government shutdown.  My husband and I weren't sure how long I’d be out of work, or if I’d be able to come back at all the way everyone was speculating about things.  So this full-time working mama went straight to staying at home with her baby girl, and I wasn't so sure I was doing so well at my new job.

Uncertainty filled my eyes in the form of tears as I became overwhelmed at my new role and how much my life had suddenly changed in a moment’s notice.  But friends, as these feelings of doubt washed over me, I felt the Lord’s presence and heard Him say these precious words to my soul:

Be in the present.

 

So often our society focuses on the next thing.  We schedule out dates in our planners 2 years in advance.  We barrel through one task to get to the next one.   Our phones are always nearby so that we don’t miss a single thing that’s happened on Facebook or Twitter.   We continually focus on what needs to be done, rather than what’s been done.

In that moment standing over my kitchen sink full of dishes, the Lord reminded me of the precious time He had given me and it wasn't to be taken for granted.

Sometimes we’re meant to be in the present.

 

Sometimes we’re meant to just stop, rest, and enjoy the moment.  Because y’all, we’re missing it.  The leaves are starting to change color where I live which signals fall is here.  They will soon fall to the ground, be swept up into a pile and then discarded for the next season to arrive.

Don’t discard this moment in your life.  You won’t get it back.  Some of you reading this may not like where you’re at in your life at the present moment and that’s okay.  Something is to be said for the present you are in now.  God is working in your life right now.  Friend, He is there working even if you don’t see Him.   When we focus too much on the future, we miss out on what the Lord is doing in our lives in the present.

How is God working in your life right now?  What is He revealing to you in the present?

 

That day I decided to lay with my daughter for her nap.  I held her in my arms and laid my head against hers and watched her sleep peacefully.  I spent time taking her in; her facial features, how little her hands were, how she smiled in her sleep.  Because the fact is-

This moment is just a season of time.

One day her hands won’t be that little anymore.  One day she will grow up before my eyes and friends, I don’t want to miss a moment of this sweet present.

Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that the Lord has plans for our future, but He also has plans for us in the present.  He wants us to soak up these moments in our lives; trials or triumphs, hardships or difficulties, dirty dishes or a spotless house and find Him there in the midst of it.

These seasons in our lives come and go so quickly.  They are but moments in time.

I had every intention of writing through my 5 week challenge and sharing that journey with you.  But I felt God calling me to be in the present and just enjoy my time with daughter, so that’s what I did.   I am happy to share with you that I did complete my 5 week challenge and did return back to work.  I look back on that short precious time and I’m so thankful I took time to be in the present.

Friends, don’t miss what God is doing in the present. 

Is God calling you to be in the present?

Do you have trouble staying the present?

How is God working in your life in the present moment?

 

 

 

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Sometimes It's the Little Things...

Good morning friend  :)


We are having beautiful sunny days here and I'm anxiously anticipating warmer weather that is right around the corner.  I was on my way to work this morning, sunglasses on, radio blasting Chris Tomlin-ready for the day.  I just felt the sudden urge to ask God to lay something on my heart to write this morning. 

With that prayer came this thought:

sometimes it's the little things. 

A few weeks ago, my daughter Brooke was diagnosed with Torticollis and Plagiocephaly.  My husband and I had never even heard of these conditions before, so you can imagine our shock as Brooke's pediatrician broke the news to us.  As she went over the long-term effects and treatment options, I could barely focus.  Brooke was born with it, but we never knew it.  We had just finished a significant battle with weight gain and a diagnosis of silent reflux and now this.  On the outside I nodded my head in understanding but on the inside I was feeling so many emotions. 

I was resentful to be honest.  Why did my child have to have these issues?  I questioned.  And then questioned some more.  Every night my sweet girl would spend her evenings screaming while other babies seemed to be smiling and playing.  If we wanted her to look at us we had to get on her left side.   

Over the next few weeks we began physical therapy exercises to correct the Torticollis and Plagiocephaly.  Brian and I even joke that Brooke's theme song should be "to the left, to the left" (insert best Beyonce impression here) because that's the only direction she would look!

Until this morning that is. 

While I was getting ready for work, Brooke was in her boppy pillow on our bed.  She was babbling and I was doing my usual "where is mama" talk and she did it.  She actually looked for me...on her right side!  And then she kept her head straight for about 45 seconds.   This was a huge victory for us! 

Photo Credit: Amanda Martinsen



I was so excited that she did it that I screamed GOOD GIRL! in such a high pitched voice that I think I scared her.  But hey, I was a proud mama.  We've still got a long road ahead until we can fully treat her condition, but just her doing that this morning shows me that sometimes it's the little things. 



God is in the little things.

Sometimes we have to find victory in the little things.  Not all our days will be spent doing something incredible like Noah when he built the ark, or David when he defeated Goliath.  

Sometimes it's the little things that make the biggest difference.  The woman at the well was simply there getting some water, a mundane task to many of us.  But she ended up on a big journey...with Jesus.  

So if today you're struggling with feeling like you're not doing something "big enough" with your life or you're like me and you question a certain trial you are facing now-stay strong in faith with me friend.  God is there with you, here with me, and in the midst of all of us.  

God calls us to do big AND little things for His kingdom.    



Credit: Pinterest

I am so thankful that Brooke's condition is treatable and was caught early.  There are so many children that are facing more than she is and I am thankful hers is not more serious than it is.  But it does make me appreciate her little victories and rejoice in the ones to come. 

What little things have you been blessed by?

What has God shown you through the simple things in life?

Have a blessed day friend, and may you always find joy in the little things. 
Amanda

For more information on Torticollis/Plagiocephaly click on the following links:

http://www.babybegin.net/

http://www.plagiocephaly.info/resources/publications.htm

http://www.oandp.org/jpo/library/2004_04S_018.asp

 

5

Releasing Control & Learning to Let Go

I have a confession to make today.  My name is Amanda and I have a problem with

control. 

It feels good to get off my chest.  I know that this is an issue that many of us struggle with when it comes to our faith.  For months, I’ve wanted to share with you my journey to learning to finally start letting go of my control issues and fully trusting in the Lord.  But until now, I hadn’t found the right words.

You might remember a past devotional I wrote called The Stop Sign.  The majority of the post was about the struggle I have always had about my body, but in that post I also wrote about how I strongly felt God speak to me and say “I am in control.”  Friends, I want to now share more about that powerful dream that still gives me goose bumps when I think about it.

When my husband Brian and I felt like it was time to start our family last year, we assumed we would have no trouble getting pregnant.   We had prayed for God to let us know when the right time to start our family would be and now we just needed to hand it over to Him to bless us with that. 

It always seems easy to keep the mindset that everything “is in God’s timing,” to begin with because it’s new.  But after months and months had gone by with no luck, I found myself questioning.  Why didn’t God want to bless us with a baby?  Were we doing something that wasn’t pleasing to Him?  Did He think we weren't ready?

Have you ever found yourself here? 

When things are going our way {smoothly} we find it easy to trust God.  It’s when things get difficult that we begin to question.  And boy did I ever question. 

On the outside I trusted God.  I prayed multiple times a day that in His timing I knew He would give us a baby, in whatever way that would be.  Meanwhile I rushed home twice a day to test my ovulation patterns, tracked my body temperatures, changed my diet, tried to “de-stress” my life, and concentrated on not getting consumed with all things baby.  Brian and I even started having conversations about what we would do if we couldn’t get pregnant naturally.  Would we adopt?  Would we try other methods?  I wasn’t trusting in God at all. 

 I was in control of the situation. 

In my mind, God was taking too long to answer our prayers, so I was taking it upon myself to change the situation and the outcome.

  

Let me also confess that I have a problem with patience.  Usually when I make up my mind to do something, I want it to happen now.  It goes back to my control issue!  ;)

And this drove me crazy because I couldn’t control it!  I couldn’t control my body, or Brian’s body, and I couldn’t control God’s timing.   

Do you identify with a situation in your life friends? 

That cool morning in March I woke up with the strongest feeling I have ever felt in my life.  God spoke powerfully to me. 

I am in control. 

It was so clear.  So simple.  Why had I struggled with this?  If I knew that God would provide us with a baby in some way, some day, and in His timing, why was I fighting the control?  I knew that He knew best.  He could see the bigger picture of things when I could not.  He already knew when He would provide us this blessing.  He knew when their birthday would be, how much they would weigh when they were born, if it would be a boy or a girl, and what their name would be.  He already knew everything about them, and here I was questioning Him because I wanted to be in control.

After that strong statement I knew I had to relinquish my control to God.  Along with praying for a child, I now prayed that God would help me trust in His timing and let me let go of my need for control over the situation. 

Do you find yourself here today friends?  Is there something that you are trying to control in your life?  Something you don’t understand God’s reasoning for?

The day before Mother’s day I found out we were expecting our first child.  Before I tested, I laid in bed praying that God would prepare my heart for the negative result that I was so sure would be there.  I had played this emotional roulette with myself for so long, I had expected it.  We had even had a false positive at one point where I thought I was pregnant, but wasn't.  But I knew God was in control and not me.

Instead, two of the most beautiful pink lines were there.  Brian and I were so shocked and surprised that it had finally happened we didn’t know what to do.  So we just hugged, cried, and jumped up and down! 

I share this story with you not because I feel our journey to becoming parents is any more difficult than anyone else’s.  Through our journey and struggles I have been able to meet and share with other women who have had difficultly and have struggled longer than we did.  Their stories are amazing examples of faith and strength. 

I share this with you because of what God taught me throughout our struggle.  He’s still working with me on the whole control thing, because let’s face it; Rome wasn’t built in a day!  But He's showed me unfailing love and He TOLD me I needed to release my need for control to Him. 

Please friends, if there is something you are struggling to control, pray that God will help you release it. 

I know that God blessed us with our baby girl in His timing, not ours.  So when we finally get to meet her in January, we’ll find comfort in knowing that God already knows her and already has His plan laid out for her life.  The timing of us getting pregnant with her matches up perfectly to the plan He has laid out for her life.  Now, we have the greatest adventure ahead of us because He loves us so much.  He didn't want to see us hurt or question Him, He wants us to fully trust in Him and His plan.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

 

What examples do you have where you relinquished control to God?   I would love to read your stories. 

Blessings Friends,

Amanda

3

Dealing with Disappointment

I just recently posted this on More to Be and wanted to share it here as well. Dealing with disappointment in our lives is never easy, but we are promised a hopeful future through the Lord.

I sat with my heart pounding in my chest, just waiting to hear my name called.  This was it.  It was the moment my future would be decided.  Any moment they would take me in another room and let me know my fate.  When they finally called my name, I began to doubt if I had done enough to make it. 

What if I wasn’t good enough?  What if my voice was pitchy?  What if I had missed a note?  Did they know I couldn’t read music that well?

“Well Amanda, you didn’t make it.  We just didn’t feel like you were as strong today as you needed to be.  The competition among the other students was so tough and unfortunately we cannot offer you acceptance into this university’s School of Music.”

My entire future had been riding on that one audition and I had failed.  What would I do now?  Music was my life, how was I supposed to move on?  I was so disappointed and felt like I had let everyone down.

Dealing with disappointment is never easy.  No one likes to feel like they’ve failed at something.  We tend to blame ourselves and wonder what we could have done differently.

If there is one thing that God has shown me over and over again it is that He is control of my life, not me. 

 

As I walked to the car that day feeling unworthy and unsure of my future, I could feel God saying “Just be patient my child.  I’ve got something better planned.  You may be disappointed right now, but just trust me.  I know what’s best for you.”

Have you ever felt God saying this to you?  In the midst of something not working out like you had planned, have you felt His presence and control?

I don’t know why it’s so hard for us to trust in God and His plan for our lives.  Do you?  I mean, He made us in His image, created the mountains and the oceans, and most of all sent His only son to die for us, yet we {myself included} still have trouble trusting that He knows what’s best for us!  We think we know oursleves better than He knows us.

Getting into the School of Music that day would have matched the plan I had for myself, not God’s plan for me.  I hadn’t asked Him about the future He wanted me to have, I was only thinking of what I wanted for myself because I thought I knew best.

Have you ever found yourself feeling this way? 

See God knew that I would never be accepted into the School of Music.  He knew that I would feel disappointed in myself and question my future.  But He never ceases to amaze me with His love for us, because wouldn’t you know it, He had something so much better planned for me!

He has something better planned for you too.

 

Right now if you find yourself in the midst of an unclear future or you’re dealing with being disappointed over something, find comfort in His plan for you.

We are not ever promised that we won’t feel disappointment or uncertainty, but we are promised that God’s plan for our lives will emerge victorious.  We are promised prosperity and a future full of hope.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

I’m sure many of us have heard this verse from Jeremiah before, but have we really listened to it? Is there an area of your life you feel God working with you on?  Maybe it’s control.  Perhaps it’s trusting Him.  Maybe you feel Him directing you down a different path than you ever saw yourself going down.  Trust in Him and His plan.  After all, it’s hard to get disappointed when God’s ultimately directing our path, right?!

By the way, I totally still rock out my voice on Sunday mornings during worship time.

How have you dealt with disappointments in the past?  Did you start down one path only to find God directing you down another path?  Please share your thoughts in a comment below. 

Blessings,
Amanda

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