I want to share with you that recently; I began this journey of trying to discover my God-sized dream through Holly Gerth’s 40 day devotional book: Opening the Door to Your God-Sized Dream. Each day I’m a little closer to discovering what my God-sized dream really is. You know the dream-the one you have tucked deep down in your heart. The one you pray about, the one you that maybe you haven’t even told anyone about or yet discovered yourself.
That night, as I wrote out my thoughts in my journal, the statement that followed hit me square in the face.
I have trouble sitting still.
Now, I’ve written a lot of things in my journal. Raw things. Things that have made me really stop and think and pray over what I wrote. Things like:
Lord, I’m scared to breathe life to my dream because I’m scared it’s not what you have planned for me.
What if I fail? Or mess up?
I feel confused about my calling.
My fear is crippling me.
So many others are better at this.
I’m so deeply afraid of failing.
I have trouble waiting on God.
I don’t like sitting still in my dreams or at all for that matter.
That last sentence is what I discovered in those few spare hours to myself and it got to me. My mind was racing with things I could be doing, instead of just enjoying sitting still for a change. I’m not taking the time to focus on what God has laid out for me in the present because I’m too busy trying to figure out how to get to the end goal, my God-sized dream.
In Opening the Door to Your God-Sized Dream, Holly writes this: “It’s often the little things that lead us to the big ones. God’s timing is not like ours. Sometimes we face delays and detours we never expected. While those can be discouraging, they can also lead to gifts along the way we never would have discovered otherwise.”
I’ve been focusing too much on the big picture and not enough on the small one. Do you do this too?
Part of it is that I’m planner by nature. I like a timeline. I like to make plans. I like to know what’s going to happen. I mean I get WAY too excited about picking out a new yearly planner. And part of it is feeling the constant need to be doing something, working towards a goal.
Not that that last part is a bad thing. But when it comes to having trouble sitting still in the moment with God so that He can reveal His plans to me on His timeline…that’s where I fall short, and maybe you do too.
I’m only 22 days into this journey and Holly’s words have imprinted on my heart things about myself that I didn’t know…or wanted to admit. Having trouble being in the moment, or sitting still, was something I had brushed off because I thought well I’m just being productive; that’s a good thing.
I didn’t realize that I’ve been missing it. I didn’t think that piling up my to-do and have-to lists in my head were making me miss Him and the opportunities He’s put right in front of me. Sure it would be great for God to say: Here you go, this is what my plan is for you and how to get there. Here are the names of all the people you need to know and places you’ll need to go to make it all happen.
But we all know God does not work like that.
Part of the joy He gives us as his children is being able to discover his plan and his dream for us overtime. If we knew it all ahead of time, it would be like getting dessert before the main course; there would be nothing to look forward to. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to miss the small joys he’s giving me as I go.
Today you might find yourself in a similar spot; unsure of the next step God wants you to take or maybe you’re like me and you have trouble just sitting still in your dreams for the moment. Or maybe you’re waiting on God for an answer to a prayer about something in your life.
Don’t be afraid to sit still.
Because here’s the best part of learning to sit still…
God is still working in the stillness.
He’s still working in the stillness of your situation. Your dream. Your life.
Sometimes sitting still for a moment or even a season with God will allow Him to reveal something to you that you may have missed otherwise. Sometimes it allows us to mature in our faith; to deepen our relationship with Christ. To learn to depend more on Him and less on ourselves.
In my case, and perhaps yours, to let go of old dreams so that you can birth new ones-through Him. Even as I struggle with sitting still in my dreams and in my life right now, I know that God is preparing me for His dream, His plan for my life.
It’s okay to sit still.
And, it’s okay to feel like you don’t know the next step to take. We often don’t. And waiting is hard. Sitting still is hard, especially when everyone and everything else is crying out otherwise. But oh sweet friend the reward and joy we will soon discover by just sitting still with God! I don't know about you, but I can't wait to find out.
Do you struggle with just sitting still?
How is God working in the stillness of your life?
What’s the God-sized dream you have deep in your heart?
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