Let's Stop Playing it Safe

For most of my life I’ve played it pretty safe.  I’m usually the girl on the sidelines watching others make brave, bold moves.  You see, I’m not a natural risk-taker.  I’m a risk-weigher, if there is such a thing.  In every situation I weigh the risks and possible outcomes for each decision.  Sounds exciting right?  Yeah, not so much. 

I’ve watched friends journey to the other side of the world as missionaries to share Jesus with those who don’t know Him.  I’ve watched women be unafraid to pursue their God-given callings.  I’ve seen friends write books and launch new ministries and love on people that others pass by on a daily basis. Through all of it I find myself wishing I could be as brave as they are.

Seeing all of this inspires a bravery I desire, but I’m not sure I have in me.  But I desperately want it.  I want to bravely love Him.  I want to say yes when He calls me to the scary waters.  I want to radiate freedom because that’s what He’s given me through His Son.  I want to walk in His Truth so the enemy has no claim over me, because he has already been defeated. I long to be brave and risk it all for God like others seem to do, but something about full surrender to Him just makes it all too scary.

Over the last year I’ve been pursuing a deeper heart change.  The more I get closer to God, the more I realize that I’ve been playing it safe for too long.  Safe with opportunities.  Safe with relationships and really loving others.  Safe with Him. 

Frankly, I want to stop playing it so safe.  I want to push the boundaries and feel my knees knocking in the way they do when you know something is scary but also worthwhile.  I want to stop being so afraid that I will take a misstep, because I know, like we all do, that sometimes missteps are necessary to get to the more honest place with Him and the bigger calling inside of us. 

I’ve had to step back and ask myself a really hard question. Do I really want God?  I know that I need God.  It’s not a question of need.  It’s a question of want and desire. 

Do I really want God?  Do I want Him enough to be called out of my comfort zone? To go outside of the church walls and love on broken people? 

Am I willing to give up things for Him?  Things that make me happy, things that make my life easier? 

Am I willing to surrender fully to Him?  To His will?  To His calling on my life?  To release the people that I hold the closet to my heart?

Do I really want God enough to follow Him into places I would not normally go? 

Am I living a life that wants God?  Do I want Him over comfort? Over the approval of others?  Over material things and worldly success?

The honest answer to that is no.  I’m not so sure I’ve been wanting Him badly enough to feel uncomfortable.  I don’t think I’ve been desiring Him enough to strap on my boots and really do scary Kingdom work for Him.  To love people that are different than me.  To trust Him in a fearless way.   I think I’ve been living a very comfortable Christian life.  I obey God as much as I want to, but I don’t ever fully surrender myself to Him. 

I recently immersed myself in Acts 28:30-31. 

“For two whole years Paul stayed there in his own rented house and welcomed all who came to see him.  He proclaimed the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ—with all boldness and without hindrance!”

Those last few words about Paul have not left me since I read them.  With all boldness and without hindrance.  Paul taught about Jesus with boldness and proclamation.  He didn’t care what others thought about him. He didn’t care about his comfort or likeability. He cared most about God.  I could take a note or two from this. 

Really what I admire most about Paul is his brazenness for the Gospel.  He didn’t hold back when it came to church conduct or how we should treat one another as believers.  And he most certainly never held back from proclaiming what Jesus had done for him once his life had been changed by Him.

Moment of truth?  I know what it is that holds me back from being more like Paul.  The truth is I’m more afraid of how God will use me if I’m truly set free than if I were too stay comfortable.

I say I want this unhindered life, but I don’t really want to work for it.  I don’t really want to walk it out in faith.  Because what if living a life unhindered and desiring Him above anything else meant giving up a job I love, or relationships, leaving church roles, or moving?

What if all that seems scary because the life God calls us to live as His children is one of complete and utter trust and surrender to Him, and that is something that deep down, we lack. We doubt if God will really come through on His end so we hold tight to the things we need most to let go of.  Relationships. Dreams. Jobs. Our marriages and children.

And we tell ourselves that we’re just being protective. We want God to use us, but not enough to feel uncomfortable or sad or scared.  We want Him to use us just enough to feel like we’re doing our part, but we don’t ever let Him really do His.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live with a Plan B.  I want to know that at the end of my days, I’ve given Him everything I could possibly give Him.  I want to know I ran the race with every ounce of courage and determination that I could.  (Hebrews 12:1)  And yes, that will mean giving up things for Him and surrendering it all and yes, that scares me. 

But I don’t want to do it safe.  I don’t want to hinder myself when it comes to God.

And I get the feeling that deep down, you don’t want to do it safe either.  So why don’t we both just go for it?  You jump, I jump.  If we fall, we fall.  But we won’t fail.  The only way we fail is to keep playing it safe, keep daydreaming of a life unhindered but never getting up our nerve to say “Yes God, use me.”

God gives us free will to choose and ultimately the choice is ours friend. Do we want safe?  Do we want comfortable?  Or do we want God?

I confess, I used to judge the rich young ruler in Matthew 19.  I used to read his story and get so frustrated with him. I would sit there and think my gosh man, Jesus is right in front of you!  How could you not follow Him?  Why couldn’t you just leave it all behind?  Don’t you see the personal invitation you’re getting?

I used to judge him until one day I realized that I was just like him.  Afraid to give it all up and terrified to have to be uncomfortable for Jesus. Scared that He’ll ask me to do something that defies all logic.  Fearful of what others may think. Hesitant to think of what a life lived fully for Him really looks like.

Because it doesn’t look like comfortability friends.  It doesn’t look like logic or approval from others. It means we don’t always know what’s next.  We don’t have the control we often crave. It looks like a life of being unsettled in all the very best ways because when He moves, He moves in mighty ways.

Jesus extended a personal invitation to the young ruler.  His command was simple. In verse 21 He says,

“If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

“Come, follow me.”  I have the same personal invitation as the rich young ruler.  You do too friend. 

He can’t change his decision now but we can change ours.  We can say yes to the invitation of following Him, no matter the cost and change our course for eternity. The rich young ruler played it safe.  He didn’t want to give up his wealth (vs.22) or his comfort.  He didn’t want to give up the life he was living.  And man, did he miss out.

I don’t want us to miss the same invitation friends.  Let’s stop playing it so safe and let’s start being brave enough to let Him have every last ounce of us.  Let’s get off the sidelines of our faith and want God more than we ever have before.

What do you say?

0

When You're Overwhelmed with the Brokenness

You don’t even have to turn on the news to know that our world is in a desperate state of brokenness.  Countries are divided.  People are endlessly suffering.  Nothing seems secure or even safe anymore.  Brokenness is everywhere.

I’ve had to stop reading the articles.  I’ve had to turn off the TV and get off social media.  I cannot hear about one more child being abused.  One more brothel being raided (though this is a good outcome) or one more issue dividing God’s people.  Shootings.  Wildfires.  Severe flooding.  My heart is just hurting for God’s people.  It’s not that I want to keep my head in the sand and pretend it isn’t happening.  I know it’s happening.  I cannot deny it. 

I am simply overwhelmed by all the brokenness.  

Do you ever feel this way? 

You want to help.  You want to reach out and comfort those that are hurting.  You want to take the pain away from your brothers and sisters.  But you don’t know where to start or even if you can help.  There are so many people who need help. Who need love and compassion.

What do you do when you’re just plain overwhelmed with all the brokenness?   

What do we do when the problems of the world seems so vast and unreachable?

We must simply begin.  We begin by acknowledging that as individuals, we cannot take on everyone’s burdens.  That is not our job that is Jesus’ job.  He already took care of that when He died on the cross.  I once heard Jill Savage say in an interview that she found great peace in knowing that even Jesus during his years of ministry went to bed every night knowing not everyone was healed.  There was always more healing to be done. 

We begin by recognizing that not everyone’s brokenness looks the same.  As believers who are supposed to be the Body of Christ, we have to stop deciding whose brokenness is worthy.  Friends, we are all broken in some way.  Brokenness doesn’t fit into a box and neither does Jesus.  As The Body we should acknowledge and encourage each other no matter the struggle. 

When I look at our world today, even when I look at The Church today, sometimes I get very sad.  I get overwhelmed with how much work there is still to be done before Jesus comes back.  I look at the state of things and I’m often discouraged.  There is no way we can do all this Kingdom work.  It’s too hard.  The suffering is too great. 

But then I am gently reminded about this whole bearing brokenness thing.  You see, it’s what the Body of Christ was designed to do.  Reaching out to our fellow brothers and sisters regardless of any differences, helping to bear the weight of their heartbreaks and struggles. And while it breaks my heart to see people’s pain and the devastation of certain situations, I know that’s how God has designed us-to hurt for one another.

If we weren’t created to love one another and to bear one another’s burdens, then what is the point of being The Body of Christ?

Ultimately we know that the brokenness and suffering of the world will go on and it will not cease until Jesus returns to take us home.  He is the answer to the brokenness.  He always has been. But there is something we can do in the meantime.  

Being part of The Body means we must put on our armor and go out and fight for our brothers and sisters.  Fight in prayer.  Fight through loving them fiercely.  Fight for The Kingdom of God to bring healing to those hurting.  (2 Corinthians 10:3)

And you my sweet friend, have the opportunity to be a part of that if you would like to. When you’re overwhelmed with the brokenness, do you know what you do?

You start small.  You do what you can for people.  (2 Corinthians 8:12)

Start with your family, your friends, your church or community.  Sometimes it’s as simple as spreading kindness.  Pay for someone’s order next time you go through the drive thru.  Compliment someone you normally wouldn’t.  Offer grace and compassion instead of judgement to the next person you see in line to get help or assistance.  You would probably be surprised at how welcomed that emotion would be.  You see friend,

Every action we take has the ability to point others to Jesus.

Use your calling.  If you feel called and overburdened with the issue of human trafficking, go volunteer for an agency on the front lines of the issue.  If it simply breaks your heart to think of someone going without food or shelter, start there.  Do a mission project for families that are homeless or in transition, or go volunteer at a shelter or agency that helps families. 

God will break our hearts for many things as The Body, but He will break our hearts for some very specific things that relate to our callings.  He will impress certain areas of brokenness on us that point directly to what He has called us to do for His Kingdom.

Maybe for you it’s helping families.  Maybe it’s working with animals.  Maybe it’s world hunger.  Disaster relief.  Women’s issues.  The list could go on.  Don’t ignore those heart tugs. 

Friends, we are called to do better.  We are called to help our brothers and sisters.  To use the gifts and strengths that God has given us to help heal the world’s brokenness until Jesus’ return. 

Sometimes I do get overwhelmed with the sadness of our world, our fellow people.  But I rejoice that there is a day coming when brokenness will no longer exist.  We will be whole. 

Until then, I find great encouragement from Paul’s words to the church in Corinth: 

“Finally, brothers and sisters, keep rejoicing and repair whatever is broken. Encourage each other, think as one, and live at peace; and God, the Author of love and peace, will remain with you.”

2 Corinthians 13:11 (The Voice)

 

Unleash Your kingdoms power
Reaching the near and far
No force of Hell can stop
Your beauty changing hearts
You made us for much more than this
Awake the kingdom seed in us
Fill us with the strength and love of Christ

We are Your church
We are the hope on earth

Build Your Kingdom Here, Rend Collective

1

Why I Stopped Worrying About My Calling

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”  

Frederick Buechner, Writer & Theologian

That is one of my all-time favorite quotes about calling.   Calling.  Many of us often throw that word around.  We say things like

I feel called to be a missionary.

I am called to be a teacher.

I feel called to write or speak.

Called to be a wife and mother.

Called to serve in this ministry or that ministry.

Called to help families in poverty.

We feel called to certain areas of service, ministry, careers, and even roles.  We continually hear the message that God has a plan for us.  He has a purpose.  He has uniquely designed each of us under His creation to fulfill a purpose for His Kingdom.  And that’s good, Kingdom stuff. 

But that word, called, can bring a lot of pressure with it.

Have you ever had someone ask, what do you feel like God is calling you to do?  What do you think His plan for your life is?  Those questions can carry a lot of weight and they are questions we may not have the answers to.  I mean, what if you don’t know what God is calling you to do?  Or what if you thought you knew, but now God seems to be leading you in another direction?

I wonder how many of you find yourself worrying about your calling.  Maybe you worry you won’t figure it out or that you’ll miss it somehow.  Perhaps you’re scared that God has forgotten about you and your dreams.  Or maybe you have let fear creep in and you’ve started believing the enemy’s lies that you don’t have a purpose and you’ll never get it all together. 

Let me tell you, I get how confusing this can be.  

I’ve found myself at a crossroads lately with my own calling.  I feel like I’m all around it and just can’t quite put my finger on it.  I have many passions and interests and I don’t think I’m supposed to discredit those, nor do I think I’m supposed to choose one over the other.  I believe they all will work together in the long run.  But as I’ve analyzed this for some time now, there is a question I have been sitting on for a bit.

At what point does our calling evoke more worry than joy?

Up until this point I feel like I have worried about what my calling is more than I have enjoyed being on the journey with God to discover it.  I want to have everything planned out.  I even found myself pleading with God to just tell me what it is so I could start doing it.  


I would hear the soft whispers to my heart, just keep being obedient.  Keep going.   I was worrying about something that really wasn’t up to me and wasn’t in my control.   Once I had that realization, I knew that I had to stop worrying about my calling.  I just needed to be obedient to God and He would take care of the rest.  


Perhaps you find yourself at a similar crossroads today.  Let me encourage you with what God has been teaching me about calling lately. 

To stop worrying about your calling doesn’t mean you get lazy and never think about it again. On the contrary.  You still need to put the work in.  It means lots of prayer, honing your skills and gifts and walking daily with Him.  If you're unsure of your gifts, consider taking a spiritual gifts test or talking to those closest to you to see what gifts they see in you.  Sometimes it's hard to see things in ourselves and it can be helpful to have an outside (trustworthy) source point these out.  

To stop worrying about your calling means to die to yourself so that God can move.  To let go of things that might be holding you back so that He can work through you for His glory.  Are you holding on to something that you need to be letting go of?  Fear?  Unconfessed sin?  Mistrust? Pride?

I’ve also come to realize that one of the biggest reasons why we worry about our calling is that deep down we doubt that God will come through.  We worry that we will come all this way and God will decide not to fulfill our dream.  Sometimes we doubt He even hears our dreams and the inner cries of our hearts desire.  But He does.  He hears all of them.  Friend, stop worrying that God will do His part.  Stop hesitating to make that jump or take that leap of faith because you’re worried that God won’t catch you.  Trust in His timing.  Trust in His goodness. 

The point of a calling is that it’s not really about us, it’s about God.

I find that so freeing because in today’s world of a me, me, me mindset,  I so want it to be about Him, Him, Him.  Our calling is not about us friend.  It is about using the gifts and passions that God has ordained in us to serve Him and His people.  It is about getting to the rawest places with God, walking through the hard seasons, the tough stuff, and asking the question God, how will you use this to bring glory to your name? 

Did you know that God gives us passions?  Oh absolutely He does.  He gives us interests.  He will even break our hearts for certain groups of people or certain areas of service.  There is meaning and purpose to it all.  What are you passionate about?  What breaks your heart?  What gives you great joy and fulfillment?  Take those things and look around.  Match those things to the needs that you see around you.  Listen to those nudges from the Holy Spirit.  I would dare to venture that your calling is a combination of those things. 

Friend, we have to stop putting pressure on ourselves to figure it all out right now, because the likelihood is that we will not.  God often chooses to reveal our calling and purpose over time; constantly calling us to newer and deeper faith.  He calls us every day to walk with Him. We are called to be His children.  We are called to bring glory to Him and point others to Jesus. 

Perhaps some of us are called to one specific purpose, but for many of us, we will find that we are called to do many things.  God may call you to be a mother, a nurse, a children’s ministry leader, a wife, an encourager to those around you.  You can be called to do many things.  A lot of times we put such pressure on ourselves to discover our one purpose, our one calling, but in reality we are called to do many things.  Each one designed to bring us closer to The Lord.    

So today if you find yourself worrying about the next step to take, worrying that you haven’t heard God correctly,  or worrying that you will miss your calling in life, let me encourage you.

Just seek Him.  It really is that simple.  Continue to pray.  Keep pursuing what you’re passionate about, what makes your heart break.  Keep going.  Keep being obedient.  In His perfect timing, He will put you where you need to be.  God does have a plan and a purpose for you and friend, it is so so good.  

It's my birthday today, which means it's time for a giveaway!  

Do you ever worry about your calling?  What are you most passionate about?  If you do know your calling, what is it?  I would love to know!

Leave a comment and you will be entered to win a copy of Holly Gerth's book, You're Made for a God-Sized Dream! 

Winner will be chosen at random and announced next Thursday, June 30th!

4

Give Her Grace-A New Direction & Mission

It's been over a year since I hit the publish button on my blog.  It's hard to believe it's been that long. I feel as though it was just yesterday.  Oh how I've missed it.  Those of you that have so graciously read my blog in the past may wonder why I took a year off. I got to the point where I felt I was at a standstill with my writing and I was unsure of the direction I wanted to go in.  Each time I came back to publish something, I stopped myself.  So, I decided to take a blogging break.  I didn't exactly expect it to be a whole year off, but it's what my soul needed.

I needed to shift my focus and seek out new direction from God.  

And to be honest, I needed to shift my focus off my writing ministry and back to The One that called me to it in the first place.  I needed time with the Lord and to work on my walk with Him.  I really wanted to hit the reset button and start again, but starting all over would mean deleting my writing past, and that's not something I wanted to let go of either.  Just give it time, I thought. God is working.  Be patient.

And so time marched on.  Life took over.  Well, little ones took over.  My husband and I welcomed our second daughter, Georgia, this past spring and life with two littles, ministry and work has made my plate extremely full.  My focus shifted from working on my writing dreams to just trying to maintain my sanity with a growing toddler (awful tantrums included) and a new baby.  But as I've taken some time to breathe and reboot, I'm ready to start back.

Credit: Amanda Martinsen

If you've read my blog before, you may notice things look a little different now.  My blog is no longer called "Into the Beautiful Life" but now Give Her Grace.  I searched and prayed long and hard for a new blog name that represented my life and ministry now.   I found myself asking "What is your new mission for me, Lord?"  

Write about everyday messy life.  Write about your struggle to balance it all. Encourage women.  Help them to see I'm still working.  

All of these were themes the Lord just keep speaking to my heart.  I'm in a season of messy life.  Most of us are in some way.  I'm learning to balance family, ministry, work, and time with God. The only constant for me in all of this has been grace, grace and more grace. 

Each day I breathe grace in and I want to breathe it out to others. 

So, I want to write about the mess.  For me, that looks like a juggling act between dirty diapers, Paw Patrol, ministry responsibilities and squeezing in quiet moments with my man.  For you, it may look completely different. But let's extend grace to one another shall we? 

We all need grace.  We all need encouragement.  We need something to bind us all together to work for a common purpose. 

Let's breathe it in as God so graciously gives it to us.



I'm also excited to share with you that Give Her Grace is an extension for one of my deepest passions: women's ministry. More specifically, building up women and encouraging them to be leaders in their homes, churches and community.  I am always searching for new and innovative ideas for presenting the Bible in creative ways to women and young girls, so I want to offer a resources page to readers.  Often through my own trial and error, I'll share what has worked for me in terms of ministry resources, Bible studies, events, etc.

So much has changed in my personal and spiritual life that I can't wait to share with you what the Lord has done in my life over the last year and how He's working in the present.

I gotta say, it feels good to be back writing and blogging; sharing my heart with you.



*Please note:  I switched back to Blogger from Wordpress so some of my posts may have a funky format to them because I exported them back to Blogger.*

0

Sale Rack Faith

There it was…hanging ever so delicately on the rack.

 

It was beautiful.

 

It was covered in pink lace.

 

It was on sale for half off!

 

 

Oh how my heart leapt with joy when I saw that tiny little red sale sign!  It hung there all by its lonesome just waiting for someone (me!) to pick it up and buy it.  I tried it on and to my surprise it was the perfect fit.  I headed to the cash register with my other items in tow, proudly handing over my new dress to the cashier.

 

But what flashed across the screen was not a sale price.  It was far from it in fact.

 

“Excuse me, ma’am?  Was that dress not on sale?”   There had to have been some sort of mix up.

 

“No dear.  I’m sorry.  Someone must have placed it on the wrong rack.”

 

For a moment disappointment rushed over me.  I knew it wasn’t in my budget to buy this dress at the original price.  I smiled at the cashier and politely asked if she would remove it from my total.

 

I left the store frustrated that I had to leave the dress behind, but in my heart (and my head) I knew it was the right decision not to buy something that wasn’t in my budget.   As I drove out of the store parking lot, a thought came to me.

 

 

Do some of us have sale rack faith?

 

 

Are we worried that our faith will cost us too much?

 

Require too much of us?

 

Cause us to let go of things that may be idols in our lives like possessions, or positions?

 

 

The answer is yes to all of these questions.  Having faith and a strong relationship with God will cost us and absolutely it will require much of us.  While letting go of idols in our lives is a difficult task, it is the first thing that God commands us to do.

 

 

^“You are not to serve any other gods before Me.

 You are not to make any idol or image of other gods. In fact, you are not to make an image of anything in the heavens above, on the earth below, or in the waters beneath. You are not to bow down and serve any image, for I, the Eternal your God, am a jealous God. As for those who are not loyal to Me, their children will endure the consequences of their sins for three or four generations.  But for those who love Me and keep My directives, their children will experience My loyal love for a thousand generations.”

 Exodus 20:3-6 (The Voice)

 

 

That dress I wanted, as lovely as it was had become an idol in my life in a mere few moments of browsing the racks.  I was idolizing a dress?  In my head I wanted to justify my reasoning for wanting it so badly.

 

You deserve something new for a change.  You NEVER buy new clothes!

 

You work hard.  Treat yourself.

 

It’s a smaller size and it actually fits!

 

Just pay the difference and make up for it some other way.

 

 

Now I realize we’re talking about a dress here, but Satan uses these same tactics when he tries to derail us from following Jesus.

 

You’ll lose your friends.

 

People will think you’re weird.

 

Look at your past!  You’ll be called a total hypocrite.

 

You don’t know enough about the Bible and Jesus to “follow” Him.

 

You’ll have to give up____ (fill in the blank) for Jesus.

 

 

The list could go on.  Satan tries to use the idols in our life, possessions we have, etc. to show us just what we would be giving up to follow Jesus.   And sometimes if we’re being honest, we think it would cost us too much to do so.  We think it would inconvenience us to give up something.

 

Too often we’re perfectly happy just to go to church on Sunday’s, post a scripture status on Facebook or Twitter every now and then, and pray when life gets a little too hard to handle.

 

Where are we going deeper with God?

 

Are we just sitting in the comfortably of our lives?

 

When will we give up something for the man who died for us?

 

 

As small as it was, giving up that dress that day was hard for me to do.  But it’s even harder to let go of other big idols in our lives.  But you know what?

 

I don’t want sale rack faith.

 

I don’t want to just sit comfortably in my relationship with God.  Sometimes it does hurt to let something go.  And yes, even comes as an inconvenience for me at times.  But it also causes me to learn to depend solely on God for strength and satisfaction.  It allows me to go deeper with Him and grow in a relationship with Him that I would not have had otherwise.  Are you ready to lay down an idol in your life to gain a closer relationship with God?

 

 

Friends, let us not have sale rack faith.  Jesus paid much too high a price.

 

 

 

Have you ever struggled to let a material possession go?

 

What idols are present in your life that you need to get rid of?

 

If you’ve given up something for the Lord, how was your life changed?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1

Putting in the Elbow Grease

“Where are you going in such a hurry?” My husband asked with a puzzled look on his face.

“Lowes…to get paint.  I’m repainting the bathroom tonight,” I said with determination.

“You’re going to paint the entire bathroom tonight?”

He obviously didn’t see what a crafty mood I was in. This non-DIY girl was looking to change her ways and spruce up some things around the house.  We had been talking about repainting our bathroom for months.  Ever since we had moved into our new home, the original color we picked, well…it just didn’t fit.  I left the store paint and brushes in tow; ready to give a facelift to my drab bathroom walls.



I primed and painted…and painted…and painted.  Ugh.  Hours passed by and I felt like I hadn’t even made a dent.  I had started off so strong and with such determination to finish this project in one evening.  I wanted to wake up to a whole new bathroom in the morning and that dream was slowly fading away.

“Turned out to be more than you could handle?” My husband asked peaking in from the doorway.

Boy did it ever.  I guess I didn’t take into account the time it would take to carefully paint all the crevices and make sure there were no paint streaks; let alone the time it takes painting around the trim.  I just wanted the fast result of a new improved room.

I’m often guilty of doing this same thing with my faith and maybe you are too.  I want a fast result without really having to put the hard work in.   You know the elbow grease as we say.

What do I do about this situation Lord?

I’m tired of waiting Lord.  I’ll just take matters into my own hands. 

What have you called me to do with my life God?

That sounds like too much work.  What about ____ (fill in the bank) instead?

Show me your will Lord.

But really only if it matches up to my own plan. 

Any of these sound familiar?  How many of us are reading books about the Bible and its promises to us, but we aren’t actually going to the source?  Skimming over scripture but not taking the time to memorize it or understand the context of it?

We want the result of a faithful, trusting relationship with God but we don’t want to actually put the work in to get it there. 

I know this isn’t the easiest conversation to have with ourselves (believe me I know) but it’s a necessary one.  The truth is that if we truly want and desire that kind of relationship with God we’re going to have to go deeper and we can’t just bypass the crevices, or hard stuff.  We’re going to have to put the work in.





I overestimated my project and thought I could just slap some paint on the walls and have a whole new bathroom.  And you know, sometimes that works.

But that’s not how our faith works.  That’s not how our relationship with God is supposed to work.

We can’t expect our marriages or finances or situations to change if we don’t put the work in, if we don’t dig deep with God.

So what does digging deep with God even look like?

Well it may look different for each one of us.  For me in this season of life it means reading His word every day, marking scripture and memorizing it, facing fears and learning to die to myself and live for Christ.  If I want to hear from God I have to leave myself open to really hearing Him and not just what I want to hear.



When I’m reading scripture I can’t twist it to mean something it doesn’t just because I want it to mean something warm and fuzzy or different.  I need to seek God and find out what it is He wants me to receive from His word.



For you, it may be something totally different.  Maybe memorizing scripture isn’t where you need to put the work in right now.  Maybe it’s your marriage, your children, your job, friendships; it could be a number of things.



We can’t be scared to discover this deeper relationship with God.  Sometimes we can be hesitant of this because it means we’ll have to do things we are afraid of, face past hurts, or we think it will be too much work on us.

But you know what?  It should be a lot of work.  Jesus died for me, for you, for us all.  That alone should leave me pining for a deeper relationship with Him.  I shouldn’t have a just slap some paint on the walls relationship with Jesus.



Are you in this place today too?  Are you wanting a fast result with your faith but aren’t really willing to put the work in?  If this is something you’re struggling with, leave a comment and let’s talk about how we can be an encouragement to one another.



You know, there are times when the sun hits the top of my bathroom walls at just the right angle and I can still see parts of the wall I missed while painting that night.  I don’t want the same thing to be true of my relationship with God.  I want to go through every crevice with Him.  I can guarantee the reward will far exceed a new bathroom look.

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Push Through the Pain

Recently I started training for my first 5K race.  If you’ve read any of my other blog posts, you know that running and me…well we’re not real fond of each other.  I want to like it I do, but it just fights against everything my body wants to naturally do.  Until recently that is.

Training for and completing this 5K race has become a personal goal of mine.  For me, it’s really been an act of obedience to God for three reasons:

1)       It’s out of my comfort zone.

2)      It’s something that I never imagined I could do (physically).

3)      I know that God is trying to reveal something to me about his power and my ability to fully trust Him.

 

God has already shown me so much in the few weeks since I started training. And I’m going to be honest; it’s not been as hard as I thought it would be initially.  My handy app lets me know when to run and for how long and I simply blast my music and do my thing.  Now for someone like me that’s a beginner, this is an accomplishment.  But yesterday, after a few weeks in-what I had been waiting on finally happened…

 

It got hard.

 

And I don’t just mean Oh I don’t feel like running today hard.  I mean like painful hard.  I didn’t even make it the first ten minutes and my shins were on fire.  My cheeks were burning from the cold air.  My feet were so heavy I thought at any point I was going to take a nose dive right there on the street.  And I wasn’t prepared for it.

My first impulse was to stop, throw my hands up and say “Lord, I’m sorry.  I tried, but this hurts too much. I quit.”

But I didn’t want to quit.  I wanted to push through the pain so that I could finish my run.  So instead, I prayed Lord, take away this pain I’m feeling.  This is beyond my physical ability now.  Just take the pain away so I can focus on my run and focus on finishing.

 

But the pain never fully went away.  What I did learn to do though, is adapt to it.  I had to make a decision then and there.  Was I going to continue and push through the pain or was I going to let it get the best of me?

 

Sometimes we’re going to have to push through the pain.   It’s going to hurt.  We may cry.  We may question why.  We may even want to forget the whole thing all together and just quit.

 

But don’t stop pushing through the pain.

Because God’s word tell us that after the pain comes joy.  What a testament to God’s power and our faithfulness to him to say “I have come through the pain and now I feel joy!”

Could God have taken my pain away that day and made my run easier?

Absolutely.

Did he?

No.

And I’m not going to try and start a guessing game as to why; because well…we don’t know why he has us go through the pain sometimes when he could take it away.   His reasons far outweigh my own understanding.  And often we aren't prepared for the pain we experience.   It comes in the form of something we aren't expecting: a death, job loss, a marriage vow broken.  When we don't expect the pain it can be even harder to push through or to understand why.

Are you trying to push through the pain of something in your life today?

 

I know it’s hard. 

 

I know it hurts. 

 

And I know that right now you want to quit. 

 

 

Keep pushing.

It is not by our strength alone that we can come through the pain.  The power of Christ alone will compel us forward to a place of true joy.  I pray that today you’ll be encouraged to keep pushing through whatever pain you're going through because joy WILL come in time...or after your run.

 

 

...Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.  Psalm 30:5 (NLT)

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Just Sit Still.

One night I found myself with a few hours all to myself.  I was so excited to have a little me time.  I picked up my book, settled in with my blanket and breathed a sigh of sweet relaxation.  I should be folding laundry.  I should be organizing the spare closet.  I should be doing something productive.  All these “should be’s” began flooding my head and I suddenly felt the need to get up and start doing something.

I want to share with you that recently; I began this journey of trying to discover my God-sized dream through Holly Gerth’s 40 day devotional book: Opening the Door to Your God-Sized Dream.  Each day I’m a little closer to discovering what my God-sized dream really is.  You know the dream-the one you have tucked deep down in your heart.  The one you pray about, the one you that maybe you haven’t even told anyone about or yet discovered yourself.

That night, as I wrote out my thoughts in my journal, the statement that followed hit me square in the face.

I have trouble sitting still.

Now, I’ve written a lot of things in my journal.  Raw things.  Things that have made me really stop and think and pray over what I wrote. Things like:

Lord, I’m scared to breathe life to my dream because I’m scared it’s not what you have planned for me.

What if I fail?  Or mess up?

I feel confused about my calling.

My fear is crippling me.

So many others are better at this. 

I’m so deeply afraid of failing.

I have trouble waiting on God.

I don’t like sitting still in my dreams or at all for that matter.

That last sentence is what I discovered in those few spare hours to myself and it got to me.  My mind was racing with things I could be doing, instead of just enjoying sitting still for a change.  I’m not taking the time to focus on what God has laid out for me in the present because I’m too busy trying to figure out how to get to the end goal, my God-sized dream.

In Opening the Door to Your God-Sized Dream, Holly writes this: “It’s often the little things that lead us to the big ones.  God’s timing is not like ours.  Sometimes we face delays and detours we never expected.  While those can be discouraging, they can also lead to gifts along the way we never would have discovered otherwise.”

I’ve been focusing too much on the big picture and not enough on the small one.   Do you do this too?

Part of it is that I’m planner by nature.  I like a timeline.  I like to make plans.  I like to know what’s going to happen.  I mean I get WAY too excited about picking out a new yearly planner.  And part of it is feeling the constant need to be doing something, working towards a goal.

Not that that last part is a bad thing.  But when it comes to having trouble sitting still in the moment with God so that He can reveal His plans to me on His timeline…that’s where I fall short, and maybe you do too.

I’m only 22 days into this journey and Holly’s words have imprinted on my heart things about myself that I didn’t know…or wanted to admit.  Having trouble being in the moment, or sitting still, was something I had brushed off because I thought well I’m just being productive; that’s a good thing. 

I didn’t realize that I’ve been missing it.  I didn’t think that piling up my to-do and have-to lists in my head were making me miss Him and the opportunities He’s put right in front of me.  Sure it would be great for God to say: Here you go, this is what my plan is for you and how to get there.  Here are the names of all the people you need to know and places you’ll need to go to make it all happen.

But we all know God does not work like that.

Part of the joy He gives us as his children is being able to discover his plan and his dream for us overtime.  If we knew it all ahead of time, it would be like getting dessert before the main course; there would be nothing to look forward to.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to miss the small joys he’s giving me as I go.

Today you might find yourself in a similar spot; unsure of the next step God wants you to take or maybe you’re like me and you have trouble just sitting still in your dreams for the moment.  Or maybe you’re waiting on God for an answer to a prayer about something in your life.

Don’t be afraid to sit still.

Because here’s the best part of learning to sit still…

God is still working in the stillness.

He’s still working in the stillness of your situation.  Your dream.  Your life. 

Sometimes sitting still for a moment or even a season with God will allow Him to reveal something to you that you may have missed otherwise. Sometimes it allows us to mature in our faith; to deepen our relationship with Christ.  To learn to depend more on Him and less on ourselves.




In my case, and perhaps yours, to let go of old dreams so that you can birth new ones-through Him.  Even as I struggle with sitting still in my dreams and in my life right now, I know that God is preparing me for His dream, His plan for my life.

It’s okay to sit still.

And, it’s okay to feel like you don’t know the next step to take.  We often don’t.  And waiting is hard.  Sitting still is hard, especially when everyone and everything else is crying out otherwise.  But oh sweet friend the reward and joy we will soon discover by just sitting still with God!  I don't know about you, but I can't wait to find out.

Do you struggle with just sitting still?

How is God working in the stillness of your life?

What’s the God-sized dream you have deep in your heart?

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I Had Such Plans

As 2014 approaches I'm sure like me, you've been bombarded with lots of New Year's blog posts, but what's one more right?

When I look back on this past year I must admit I get a little overwhelmed and a little sad at how fast it went by.  People always warn you that when you have kids, time will fly like no other and boy, they weren't kidding!  I felt like I blinked and they were putting out New Year's Eve decorations.

I went back and read a post I wrote on this very day last year called One Word 2013.

 

Grow

That was my one word that would encompass my entire 2013.  But these past few weeks as I've been thinking of my new word for 2014, every time I thought about growing a strange feeling has come over me.  This feeling that keeps creeping up on me is the feeling of failure.  You see, me and my word grow, we had big plans for each other.  We were going to have a baby, balance our day to day lives and explode this blog ministry with fresh new ideas and direction.

Me and grow...well we didn't quite do that.

We did have a baby, so my family grew.  I guess that one I can check off.   But all the other stuff sort of fell to the waste side.  I just didn't grow the way I thought I would.  I didn't grow in the way I thought God wanted me to and that's why a sense of failure has been peering over my shoulder.

I had such plans for this blog ministry, but God called me into a position of leadership that I never saw coming, taking my attention off of this and on to something else.

I had such plans to be a phenomenal mom,  friend, and wife who devoted her attention to all three equally but I had to learn to adjust in all these roles and my priorities shifted.

I had such plans to balance it all, keep it all together and do it all.  Well, that definitely didn't happen.

I had such plans to grow...my way.

I am a planner by nature.  I love to make plans and it just makes me feel at ease and comfortable when I know what's coming.

But following Christ should never be comfortable for us.

If I never allow God to fully use me because I get too comfortable in my current place, how can I fulfill His plan for my life?  If I spend my time trying to figure it all out all the time, what am I missing that God has put right in front of me?  If I'm scared of the new things God is doing in my life, how can I expect to change or even grow in my relationship with Him?

I tossed around so many words that I wanted to try to focus on for 2014.  So many words flooded by mind, my heart, saying "pick me! let me be your one word for 2014!"  So many of them came to me that I had trouble focusing on just one.  It was then that I realized what word I needed to pick because it's something I struggle with so much not only in my day to day life, but most importantly my relationship with God.

I need to learn to focus.  I need to accept that in my life right now I'm in a transition and I need to simply focus on what's in front of me and stop planning so much for the future.  I'm not going into 2014 with any expectations other than to {focus} on things that are important to me: family and friends, my ministry, and most importantly my relationship with Christ.

When I chose {grow} last year, I chose it because it's what I wanted to do.  I made plans for it.  This time around, I'm giving my word over to God and making no plans for my word, letting Him lead me.  I don't want to get comfortable this year in my faith.  Like Peter, I want to step out of the boat onto the waters and focus solely on Jesus.

Did 2013 go as you planned?

What surprised you about yourself in 2013?

For those of you that choose one word, have you chosen it yet?  I'd love to hear it!

I pray that you will have a blessed year ahead and that you will discover blessings and beauty from God in every day.

Happy New Year!

*A special thank you to Melanie from only a breath for designing this one word button!

 

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