I’m sure that somewhere out there is a well-proven
scientific theory that can discredit all that I’m about to tell you. But since I’m not a scientist, just a
Jesus-loving girl with a message on her heart, I thought I would share this
thought with you and let you sit on it awhile.
Maybe there are seasons for balance.
A few weeks ago I ran into the grocery store for a few
things. It was one of those quick runs
where you secretly hope you don’t run into anyone you know because you’re in a hurry and
you’re not looking, well your best. You
know you’ve been there.
I whizzed my shopping cart through the aisles, checking each
item off my list. That’s when I saw her. A sweet woman I go to church with. She was browsing the fruits and vegetables
and I was high-tailing it to the spaghetti sauce. Since we were a good distance from one
another, we both just threw our hands up said hello and went on about our
lists.
A few minutes later we quite literally ran into one another
on the cereal aisle. We made small talk
for a few moments and then she asked me “So Amanda, how are you doing?” “You know, doing well,” I said with a
smile. But she could see right through me.
“No really, how are you doing? You look tired.” I sort of just shrugged it off and made a
joke about littles ones sucking the life out of you. “I gotta tell you, I don’t know how you do it
all,” she said. “Always running.” I
couldn’t keep up the façade any longer.
Right there in the cereal aisle, next to baby formula and Fruity
Pebbles, I spilled it all to her.
“I’m actually really struggling
lately. I'm failing at balancing my family life and ministry. I feel like when I’m
not at home with my girls and then I’m failing as a mother because I’m not present. If I’m home, then I feel like I’m not
fulfilling my commitments at church or in ministry because I’m missing something. I try to find balance between being a mommy
and wife, and being present in my ministry commitments. I'm trying to find it…I just don’t know how.”
And this sweet woman, who overtime has helped shape my own
faith, spoke these precious words to me. “You know, I don’t
think there is such thing as balance. I
think we just try to do the best we can in the season we’re in.”
She went on to tell me about how she shared in the same struggle with balancing family and ministry when her son was younger. She could remember running here and there,
serving in multiple roles and still trying her best to serve her family. It was a hard season but it was good work she
was doing. I could feel the tears start
to come up when suddenly, someone else wheeled their buggy onto the aisle.
“Well thank you for the quick pep talk,” I said. We said goodbye and went our separate
ways.
But what I didn’t get the chance to tell her that day that I
want to tell her now, is that she (you) has no idea the prayer I prayed on my
knees the night before.
Lord, I need you to give me
strong examples of women who balance this mommy/ministry life. I need guidance. I need wise, Godly advice from a woman who
has been through it and has come out on the other side. Would you put a woman like this in my
path? I need to see someone who has been
where I am and can identify with this struggle.
I need someone to see me through this.
I got an answer to my prayer in the place I least expected
it. A wise woman who knew my struggle
because she had lived it and come out on the other side. Her words just kept playing over and over in my mind. Could it be that my whole theory on balancing
it all was all off?
The short answer?
Yes. The long answer to that
question lies in my encouragement for you today.
I don’t know what you are having trouble balancing in your
life. I don’t know what gives your heart
strings a tug or where the pangs of guilt may strike you most. But maybe, just maybe you can let these words
fall over you today.
Maybe there is no such thing as
balancing it all. Maybe you just do the
best with the season you’re in.
Perhaps there is a season for
balance.
For me, the greatest tug comes between family and
ministry. I want so badly to perform
well in both arenas but I’m learning that both can’t be priority at the same
time. I’ve also learned that the issue goes much deeper than just
feeling guilty or bad, but rather it is evidence of a greater sin in my life. The expectation I put on myself that I must
in fact, do it all and be it all.
Notice my words. The
expectation I put on myself.
We’re awful about doing this to ourselves aren’t we? Especially women. We put the expectation on ourselves to have
it all together. Serve our
families. Run a household. Volunteer at church and our kids’
school. Keep our houses cleaned and
organized (Whew! I fail big time at this
one! ). Just insert your responsibilities here. The list could go on and on.
And while these are all important things, thinking of them
all together can easily overwhelm us.
Therein lies the balance. I also don’t think God wants us to do and be
it all. If we were designed that way, it
would leave little room to desire Him.
Even after writing this I will still struggle with trying to
balance it all. You probably will
too. But let’s not do it alone. Let’s encourage one another, pray for each
other’s hearts, and most importantly share our inner struggles with each
other. None of us have it all together
and we do a disservice to one another when we pretend like we do.
Maybe it’s not family and ministry you’re trying to balance
today. What does this look like for
you? Is it work and home life? Is it chasing dreams? Is it a particular person or situation you’re
trying to balance?
I get it. It’s
hard. But maybe like me, you’re putting
a worldly expectation on yourself that is impossible to ever meet. You know, I think Helen {that’s my wise-woman’s
name} was right. I think sometimes all
you can do is give your best for the
season you’re in.
Just give your best today
friend. That’s all you can do. The rest will follow.
What about you?
Do you struggle with
finding balance?
What things do you
feel a tug between?
If you’re a mama, how
do you deal with mommy guilt?
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